I Swear

Chapter Two: The Rules

                Now I'm sure most of you have seen or at least heard of the movie Zombieland. Well if you haven't it's a movie about the zombie apocalypse, kind of like what's going on in my life right now.

                In this movie certain rules are placed and I am now following some of those rules and have made a few of my own.

                Rule number one: Double tap. When killing a zombie using a gun you always want to shoot it twice, even if you think it may be dead. This lessons the chance of it being able to randomly get up and eat your brains and other body parts.

                Rule number two: Speed. You may think that zombies just lug around the body part that don't work anymore in a slow fashion, but that's not the case. Zombies are fast, if you can't out run one you become one.

                Rule number three: Race. Rules two and three kind of tie into each other. When running from a zombie you need to be fast. Not the fastest but faster than the slowest person around.

                Rule number four: Buddy System. As for me, Kyle and I have been teamed up for a while. We moved across six states in an abandoned car we found.

                Rule number five: Brains Over Bronze. When fighting and killing zombies strength is a nice thing to have, but when push comes to shove knowledge is a clear winner.

                There you have it, what I think are the five most important rules when trying to survive a zombie apocalypse. Using all of these rules is imperative to survival, but one could still become an appendix appetizer, if you know what I mean.

                Zombies are ruthless. They play to win, and this game is quite the doozy. As time passes by Kyle and I fear more and more for our lives. Let me describe just one of the several encounters we have had with zombies.

                It was a late night and Kyle and I were getting ready for bed. I had the first watch shift and being the stupid person that I am I fell asleep while on guard. The next thing I know I’m being awaken by the sound of groaning coming from outside the place we were staying at.

                Sure enough zombies were there. I quickly woke kyle and we rushed out the back, only to be confronted by about five zombies. Taking our guns out we shot each one twice and ran to the car.

                Now this isn't the most terrifying experience but it was the one where I was the most cranky. I mean really! I was trying to take a cat nap and the zombies just had to ruin it like they did everything else. I can't remember the last time I had some candy.

                Oh, candy why must you evade me my entire life. First, in my younger years when my mother hid you from me and tortured me by taking you away. Then, later in my life you cost a whole dollar and I had now money. And now, with the zombie apocalypse you were the first to go. Why? Oh, why must you avoid me?

                Enough about candy though, thinking about it just makes me long for it even more. Kyle just got back from his mission, he was trying to get food. Each day we go through a different routine. One finds food while the other finds ammo. Today was my turn with the ammo and my search was pointless because I couldn't find any. BIG shocker.

                Every day gets harder and harder though. We find less food and little, to no, ammo. The zombies are multiplying and we haven't found or seen any real humans for what feels like weeks. I'm worried about my family and the rest of my friends.

                I feel even worse for Kyle though. He had to watch his whole family die as they were devoured by zombies. He could only sit helplessly in the hallway closet. Poor guy, that's where I found him, he hasn't been the same goofy guy ever since then.

                I have been able to shoot my arch-enemy from school. That's the only good thing that's happen since I started this whole thing. His name was Tyler Underman. He was the school bully all throughout my school career and he seemed to like to pick on me the most.

                I saw his zombie self walking around a few days after George was shot, pulled out my gun and shot him several times. It was liberating and felt so much like payback.

                But now I'm just on the run that's it, nothing glamorous. Nothing fun-filled or exciting, just me trying to stay alive the best I can.