Just Let Go And Move On

Since i was born untill now non of the things i needed came for me or even happened unless idid something that satisfies my parents so later on i could be rewarded.. Why is everything in this word given after what im required to do is over? Sometimes iwalk around myself everywhere but most probably in my room overthinking too much about these things that never end up successfully like its meant to be a sudden stop point in my way and occurs large in public in which i should fix with a way imyself can't go through or even can gather up a great solution to achieve it correctly.....
Everything became so hard imyself started to feel like there is no way to escape from reality the reality of having a great huge responsibility that im a student having alot of requirments to do and even though thought its easy but it's not....
Too much pressure to finish up my homeworks, too much pressure to study, should get the best highest score on my SAT test the first time i go through should be one of the most greatest  people who are usually called "NERDS".....
Im not for god sake I AM NOT, IAM NOT THAT PERFECT ONE, IM NOT FULL OF PERFECTIONS, ADVANTAGES, IM NOT THAT MUCH GOOD, IM NOT AN EXPERT IN ANYTHING OR EVERYTHING WHY IS EVERYTHING IN EVERYONE'S EYES EXAMINED AS IF IT'S SIMPLE WHILE ITS NOT NOT AT ALL... EVERYTHING IN THIS LIFE IS FREAKING HARD I MEAN YOU HAVE TO EXERT ONE OF YOUR BEST EFFORTS TO END UP QUICKLY FROM THE FIRST TIME IMEAN WHO THE HELL SAID THAT IT SHOULD BE FINISHED ONCE ITS ALREADY WORKED ON, WHO THE HELL SAID THAT I SHOULD BE THE BEST ONCE IM NOT THROUGH WHAT IM WORKING AT, DONT EXPECT FROM ME TO BE THE MOST PERFECT IMYSELF CALL MYSELF "NATURAL" BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT IAM IM NATURAL TOTALLY NATURAL IM NOT RUNNING AFTER BEING SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE A COPY FROM OTHERS SOMEONE, WHO IS GENIUS... IM ONLY ME PRETTY AS I AM HAVING MY OWN SELF CONFIDENCY LIVING AROUND PEOPLE WHO HAVE DIFFERENT TYPES OF THINKING AND MENTALITIES IM NOT DIFFERENT AND IM NOT PERFECT IM ONLY ME AND IWONT BE EXCEPT ME AND EVEN THOUGH IF I WOULD CHANGE THEN ITS FOR MY OWN NOT FOR OTHERS BECAUSE OTHERS WONT GAIN ANYTHING POSITIVE BECAUSE SIMPLY WHAT WILL HAPPEN AND WHATS HAPPENING ALREADY IS FOR YOUR OWN. DON'T LET THOSE WHO BULLY YOU COMPLETE THROUGH WHAT THEY ARE DOING BECAUSE THE RESULT WONT BE EITHER EASY OR GOOD FOR YOU, FOR THEM THEY MADE WHAT MAKES THEM HAPPY, FOR YOU YOU ACCEPTED WHAT BREAKS YOU AND IN BOTH ITS TOTALLY WRONG.

I don't believe in anyone anymore according to what I've seen through long times i spent with them, I've seen the best and the worst of life, people, even experiences iwent through I've seen so many and yet i didn't give up because simply failure is part of success so what so ever happens never give up and simply when we meet hard things in life simply god is examining us, there are things that are meant to happen to bother but to learn from so in any of the cases accept whatever is happening to you because afterall you'll gain so many things in which later on you will thank God according to such happenings...

Look let me be fair there are some people who are literally good in everything in which the way they treat you, if they truely respect you, appreciate you, make you feel your own true worth, those people are very few im not saying that there are bunch of people who are like that i said there are few and to be honest this is literally true....

Sometimes ifeel that im the only one who's holding a different meaning for tears and happiness and even difference. Imyself couldn't understand myself i thought that being different is worser than copying others but i realized that the difference is in the opposite form.

Remember that no matter what happens god is always there for you no matter how hard life became for you remember everything has endings and probably what would end up badly god will help to fix it to be better than it used to be.

Believe in god, yourself, parents💜