Reaching You

What does it feel like having your first love? Have you heard of the saying; First Love is the sweetest? What if you struggle your feelings for someone you love for years and yet your feelings were complicated, unrequited. And never really knew what your feelings really are?

My name is Marwah and i've been loving someone for 4 years now.  And the person who as my first love as a good friend of mine, i met him around 2006.

/Flashback

Around 2006

"Marwah, Let's stalk Paulo!" My best friend Rhea told me with a giggle. I knew Rhea is always like this when it comes to her having a crush on someone. My best friend's crush is on a different section as ours. So every Recess, Rhea would ask me to come with her to the other class to atleast see Paulo.

We walked to the other class and i saw this cute boy on their classes' door. 

"Rhea, Rhea.. What do you want?" The boy told Rhea. Oh my He knows Rhea but not me.

"I want to see Paulo" Rhea said to him and giggled

"Ah, Paulo?"  the boy asked and called out Rhea's crush. "Paulo! Paulo! Someone wants to----"

"Stop it Daniel!" Rhea told the boy loudly but shyly. Rhea told me that we should hide since she said the we were going to stalk Paulo.

" *After running back to our classroom to hide*  That was close! good thing He didn't see me!" Rhea said while catching her breath. I stopped for a moment to wonder if i should ask Rhea about the boy standing in front of the other classes' door. Since I'm a really curious person and that i can't control my big mouth, I asked.

"Rhea Rhea who was the guy you were talking to awhile ago?"  I asked.  "Ah, him? why? haha you like him? He's our family friend." She said.

"No! I'm just asking! What's his---"     

"His name is Daniel. You like him? I can help you to get to talk to him! He's our family friend!"

" Oh no no no. I said i don't like him!"  *lies* that's what i told her. So that night upon seeing Daniel, i  would'nt say it was "love at first sight" i mean, i was still 10 that time, So he was just a crush.

So the night later, I decided to write him a "Secret Admirer Letter". And this is how it looked liked;

             Dear Daniel,

                          I saw you awhile ago and i think you are cute. I have a crush on you. I am not

             going to tell who i am because i am shy.

                                                                                                   Your Secret Admirer

I know its a little stupid and childish but i think i don't regret it at all. 

The next morning at school, i asked one of his classmates to give the letter to him. After waiting till Lunch, one of his classmates finally sent me his reply. 

            Dear Secret Admirer,

                        I am sorry but i already like someone else. Her name is Jessa. I don't know you.

             maybe show up so i will know you.

                                                                                                  -Daniel