The Ascent To Love

Chapter 4

“Maybe okay will be our always.” — The Fault In Our Stars, now in theatres!

Chapter 4 

The question echoed deep in the recesses of her mind. It touched every nook and cranny, bringing to light the heart of her insecurities. Her eyes snapped shut as they crawled out of the shadows. They hovered in the forefront, chanting the same thing over and over again.

You weren’t enough to make him stay. You weren’t enough to make him stay.

Her heart contracted at the onslaught. She wanted to scream, to fight, to push it back into the darkness and lock it up for eternity, but fear kept her immobile. How could she choose love when her greatest worry was that she didn’t measure up? Her father abandoned her because he found something better. What if the same thing happened with Graham? What if she let him in and he found her lacking?

She looked up at the man in question. He patiently stood before her with his arm outstretched. Bright, unwavering eyes stared back. They glittered with an unspoken promise. Her soul ached to give in, to believe that he would always stand by her, but how could she be sure?

Silently, she pleaded with him to give her some reassurance, but his lips remained shut. His expression made it clear he would not make this choice for her. It was up to her to decide if she would take the chance and trust him.

Could she do it? Her mind said no. The risk was too great. She didn’t want to wake up one day and find him gone. It was better to be without him, to live in her safe and comfortable world and forget about him….wasn’t it? Wasn’t it?

Her hand gave an involuntary jerk. Startled, she looked down. Her fingers were stretched out, pointing directly at Graham.  It seemed while her mind was saying no, her body was saying yes. Conflicted, she thought of the past six months she spent with him. There were ups and downs, good days and bad, but the constant in her life had been him. He was her anchor through it all, quietly providing his support. Was she really going to let it all go because of insecurity?

She thought of what her life could be like with him. Coming home from work and telling him about her day or spending a lazy Sunday lounging around the house, watching TV. The idea brought a small smile to her face. She wanted that. She wanted him. And wasn’t he worth the risk? Hadn’t he proven he cared about her? He was willing to lay his heart out on the line. Now it was her turn to do the same.

Hesitantly, she reached out. The encouragement in his eyes strengthened her resolve as she laid her palm against his and gingerly clasped his hand. Like a dam breaking, a flood of relief washed over his face. Eagerly, he pulled her up and into his arms. She leaned into him, taking comfort in his embrace.

“Damn,” he muttered, his heart racing under her ear, “you had me worried there for second. I thought I was going to have to do something drastic and resort to Plan B.”

“What was Plan B?”

“Subliminal messages while you slept.”

She laughed into his chest, loving the way his body cradled hers. “What were you going to do? Break into my apartment and play it till I became utterly obsessed with you?”

“Of course not,” he said loftily, as he toyed with a wisp of hair near her neck. “A mild infatuation would have been perfectly acceptably as well.”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“Merely determined,” he corrected. His fingers danced across the graceful slope. His touch was light and teasing, like butterfly wings brushing against her skin.