my boyish love

A LITTLE BIT CLOSER

school moved on,people moved on but i couldnt move on from april. so i decided to act upon it,maybe if she shot me down i would finally get closure and move on or would i?but that was a question to worry later on,much later on.maybe i could start of as her friend,surley that could be easy.

i gather my courage to spend some actual time with april,actually talking to her without stammering over every second word.i walk up to her in the hallway and hope that all goes well and by the end of the day i wouldnt regret this decision to act upon my feelings,little did i know that day was going to change my whole life."hey" i start off casually, she turns around surprised registered clearly on her face "hey" she replies a little curiosity evident in her voice "so,ready for the upcoming end exams?"i ask as that is the only common subject of conversation i had with her,"hmm not really,well i have got all the subjects covered except for calculus, calculus just seems to be going over my head no matter how much ever i go over it" she sighs, in comes the knight in shining armour AKA me "i could help if you like, i mean obviously you have natalie i kno but.." "no i would love it" she interrupts me in mid sentence, "what?" i exclaim in surprised that she accepted so fast, "now you just sound like you dont want to help me" she laughs amused as the chill creeps around me at the sound of it,"no,its not that i want to help you but what about natalie?" i quickly clarify my surprise, "ah,well natalie is a little busy, her cousins from australlia decided to visit so she is having trouble finding time to study herself let alone help me" she says feeling sad for her friend,oh wow is this a fat chance or what? "oh thats sad, so ya how about after school we meet in the library?" i ask hopefully, "oh sure, ill be there,but are you sure? i mean you have enough time to spare?"she asks seriously, "ya, i have a lot of time" i answer quickly,a little too quickly, i cringe with embarrassment "i mean,what i mean is" i start to reconstruct my answer...her laugh intercepts my reply as the chill creeps me up again she continues in her honey dripping voice " as long as im not holding you down,see ya later" she winks and she gives me her signature two fingered salute as she glides to her desk.

holding me down? oh if only you have even an inkling of what you are doing to me....i shake my head unbelieving..all in all its one step closer from yesterday.