My life

Intro I guess...

 For obvious reasons I'm using fake names. 

I have struggled with self harm since year 8 so I guess around 2 years. Some days I can cope with it better than others. It really depends. Around 7-8 months ago I moved to Bradford. It was really hard. I don't think anyone really got that, not really. 

I moved half way through year 9. During the time before I moved we had these things called coaches or form tutors whatever the hell you want to call them. We called them coaches and I had to see a support worker. I had managed to keep my self harm hidden until near the end of year 8 when my P.E teacher suddenly decided we weren't aloud to wear jackets anymore. I tried my best to hide them but I couldn't. All she had to say to me was "Well that's a stupid thing to do isn't it?" I walked out of P.E and didn't really want to go back. But if you hate me that's okay because I hate me too. My support worker found out. I didn't really want to speak to her, I didn't really want to speak to anybody. I have found it hard to properly trust teachers etc... since year 3 and something came over me and I decided to speak to my coach... I began trusting her a lot. When I left... even to this day... the thought that I'm never going to be able to see or speak to her again hurts.

When I moved to Bradford in year 9 my self harm began to get worse. Since year 3 I have had a bad fear of moving or starting a new school. It makes me feel physically sick. This was combined with the fact that I missed my old school. I still do. Since then I've been on and off, but they don't know that. It's getting harder to hide it. 

On this factor, since being 5 years old I have attempted to starve myself. I eat as rarely as I can. If I do I feel so bad that I feel like I have to make myself throw up because the thought of eating food makes me feel physically sick. Again nobody knew that... well I guess you do now.

Even if there is a small chance that my friends do read this... then well now I guess you know.