Shattered (Dedicated To Mini Ladd)

Greetings

Now I wanna start this off, with a little bit about myself. My name is Angel. I was born on December 21st.

My mom says she dreamt of having me, and after her third child (Me) she stopped. She was happy.

Well...until my last few months of the 11th year of my life...

My dad was laid off from a really great job that he saw himself working at for the rest of his life, just like his grandfather. This took a bad impact on us.

We had to move into my passed great-grandmother's old house. It was completely trashed, weeks and weeks lead up to months. We finally got it to living terms, staying there for almost two years.

But, in 2014 I found this really funny channel called 'VanossGaming'. I remember laughing til tears escaped. I was obsessed, you could say. Then, I came across a GTA V video, a few new friends of Vanoss were in this video. I soon found 'Mini Ladd'. His humor was very much like mine. I just couldn't stop laughing!

This all had a bigger impact on me, more than just a funny video 1 year later. I began getting bullied. I was very tall for my age, and weighed more than usual. My family never knew why and just shrugged it off as nothing. I didn't realize this until I was told one day, by a horrible kid I went to class with that I was 'Fat, stupid, a freak, and disgusting.' I let that get to me. I realized how stupid that all was a few weeks later.

I grew confidence. I wasn't even afraid to scream something embarrassing out in the halls. Until something that broke my sanity. I was molested for 6 years straight.. my mom befriended a sweet lady named Nancy. Her husband, wasn't very sweet.

We visited almost every day. And they literally lied straight to my moms face about how they were against rape and stuff like that. He would touch me in places I'm not going to list. I was scared to tell anyone, until the age I currently am.

I soon met my half brothers Scottie and Alex. They were kinda jerks to me, but I didn't care. I was young. Alex forced me to kiss him, tricked me. He only saw me as just a defenseless toy. He would try to tear my clothes off, saying we would play 'games'. I thought of it as nothing...until he got on top of me and pinned me. He told me I would have sex with him. I released a strength I didn't even realize I had. I threw him to the ground, he just shrugged it off.

He still did this until we rarely ever talked to them. Again, I was stupid and didn't tell anyone until it was too late. Then there was school and my family. I was bullied, not as bad as most people though. I never let it get that far. If I went to tell my teachers about this, they would tell me to grow up. So I did. I drew further away from anyone. I was always silent.

Everything changed me.

This now leads us to today. Okay, back a couple years. About my dad losing his job and us moving into my grandmothers old home. Yada yada. I wasn't so depressed until we moved from our beautiful house. It wasn't about the house, it was the realization of what I actually went through.

I felt stupid.

I cried myself to sleep for almost a year. I met these really great people that I am lucky to call my friends today. They really helped me. Until I just couldn't hold it anymore..

I became more and more depressed. Faking my laugh and smile. Acting confident for my friends. I wanted them to be happy. Close one's happiness is more important than anything to me. I was happy. Yes. But that didn't change the fact that I would come home, be yelled at. Be told by my dad that he would be back in 3o minutes to a couple hours, during the day, and come back at midnight or later.

My mom was gone working night shifts almost every night. Leaving me and my amazing brother. He means a lot to me. More than he used to. We would almost always get into fights, just from each other's presence.