Burning Crimson

Chapter Twenty

He woke up to the sight of Jean. She had her mouth open slightly, her blonde hair was messy from tossing and turning throughout the night. He admired her for a few seconds before he remembered the destruction from the day before and he felt the anger, it all went away when he knew she meat to only help - his anger was directed to someone else, something bigger than himself, superior to his feelings and personal angst.

He got up from his spot on her legs and walked out of Luna's old room, finally realizing, it didn't matter anymore, none of it mattered, it never mattered, it was all bullshit. His ribs felt sore from the very uncomfortable sleep he dealt with. He walks down the hallway with a pained expression etched onto his face.

"Good morning," he looks to see Lilac, she smiled while coming down the stairs in her shorts and one of his band shirts. He forgot to lock the doors. How could he forget, that's the most important thing to do. He knew very well that his girls would never leave him, they all needed each other, even when the girls fought one another for Harry's attention and love, they loved each other.

"Goodmorning," he says and smiles. He knew better than to be weak and breakdown like that, he was better than that.

Lilac looks at him and the snap that they were all waiting for had happened and who knew that it would take a five foot six girl named Colette to make him snap.

"Well, want to help me attempt to cook?" He sighs and she hesitantly nods and follows him to the kitchen. The sliding door was unlocked, he was slipping and he needed to wake the fuck up and get everything in order or else there will be only chaos and four girls gone, he didn't want that.

In the kitchen, Harry poured water in the kettle and set it on a burner, putting two slices of bread in the little toaster with frayed wires that connected to the wall outlet.

"You seem okay and that is just not.. You're not mad?" She quizes, unsure of the way he was acting, scared to say the wrong thing and have him snap at her viciously.

"I don't care for casulaties anymore, no need to waste time right," he says as a reassurance of sorts, waste time for what, exactly? He didn't have anything except time.

A few silent minutes and both of them get startled from the scream the kettle makes when the water starts to boil and the toast pop out a bit burnt on the crusts, he puts them on a plate and smears peanut butter on the less burned sides of both toasted bread.

"Are you sure you're okay?" There was no way to ask except being straight forward with her questions. She had to carefully and slowly figure out her words before speaking. She cared enough to know if he was truly okay. Okay as okay can be.

"Lilac, I just said I am okay," he says and sat at the table, she pours herself a cup of tea and sits across from him at the round wooden table.

"No you didn't, you said you don't care, there is a difference."

"Saying I don't care is basically saying fuck the world and all it has to offer," he sets down the toast in front of her and pours his own water and stirs instant coffee in his back mug.

"Are you fed up with it finally, is this karma you suppose?" She asks and takes the toast in her mouth, the way she said those words, the way she looked at him and the way he felt guilt for what was said, was he fed up with it? The thought of letting them go, watching them leave; it hurts him, he turns his back and runs at his eyes, feeling a migraine coming on, he stood up to pour the hot water in two cups, setting them down on the counter for Jean and Shawna when they finally join him and Lilac.

"Do you think that hell is a real place?" Lilac asks, he wanted to embark on the meaning of hell and heaven but he wasn't sure either. And if there was nothing after death, they've been burying bodies for nothing.