The Best Is Yet To Come

5. People

People,they're shitty. Or that's my opinion at least.Maybe it has to do with this teen angst that I've been hearing about or,..nope,it's probably the truth.But then again people do have their moments. Sure,they can be stupid,evil,destructive,deadly,misleading,manipulative,uninteresting,cunt-y pieces of shit.But,I can't  ignore the good people that are out there,although they are as rare as the amount good chocolates in that cheap box of chocolates that you got from that huge discount.

-Hope.Me.

(The person who is allegedly making grammatical mistakes while writing this.The person who is probably not mentioning a lot of people who they should be mentioning in this very chapter-but note that I am writing this randomly so don't get hurt. Also,very glad you are reading this at all! Okay,okay-I'll stop and continue with the story..)

As child I remember thinking about the importance of being a good person.I remember liking myself,having hope in the person I will become. I remember being emotional and showing empathy. I'd love to have that mindset again,but I guess I wouldn't do too good in this world. I feel like I shouldn't be closed off.I don't bond the people because I am afraid of loosing them. I have a morbid side to me as well.What is the point of life anyway when we are all going to die?..talk about an existential crisis that never ends.I guess we are all alive now,so make yourself and the people around you have the best life you can.Sometimes it doesn't work,so I end up hanging out with a bucket of ice cream on my lap and a spoon,dressed in a cloak of despair and hopelessness.But I'm trying to loose weight.But I'm trying to be mentally stable too,apparently not trying hard enough. Fuck,I wish this pain I feel in my chest and hands,this twisted sick parasite that lives inside me,i can feel it in every move I make.It is everywhere but in my head,so I try and mentally push this feeling out.If it wasn't for the people around me I could never run away from this.So I look at Skye sat next to me.She listens without me saying a word;she knows that she is helping me with her presence alone.

 -Skye.My brothers girlfriend.

I am a person she just met,yet she treats me like her little sister.It's the little things she does; how she cooks when I'm about to come home so it's still hot,and how she waits for me to watch a show or eat together.How she hands me a banana when I tell her I've eaten unhealthily. She is so eager to introduce me to stuff she thinks I'll like, so lo and behold my love for Cage The Elephant and Attack On Titan.

-Laura.My best friend.

The girl I met only three years ago-but seems like I've known her my whole life.The girl that I met in my middle school trip and we spent the whole night blabbering away. The girl who didn't speak my language,even tho we went to the same school-so the rest of our new found friendship was followed by a lot of weird stares cause we were the girls speaking in English,so called show offs. I told her things no one knew about me,and she did the same..made her swore that she'd call me anytime she felt like lighting another cigarette-so of course-she didn't .The girl who'd literally show up and drag me out of bed when I was feeling down.The first person I showed my Ruby Rose pic collection. Damn she is pretty..those eyes and the bad boy...Umm where was I?Laura.Right.My best friendddd.Yes.She's good.

-Grace.She is a friend of my friend's little sister.

I know,it's a mouthful.She always hung out with Ally's sister-Jane,and that was the only time I ever saw them.Then my 3rd year of high school came and they were in the hallways now too.Hellos and shy smiles is all that it was, but I somehow found them cool. That was all it was,till one day,when the four of us went out for a coffee and somehow started talking about what we thought about this or that,and somehow-I agreed with everything Grace said.I even agreed with the way she thought,not only agreed but it was the way I thought as well. Now,I find myself texting her.I can't help it;I feel sad for myself from a parallel universe, for the me that never got a message from her asking what it's like in Canada. I feel bad for the me that never lost my TTC pass,as that me wasn't in a middle of a two and a half hour walk home from work when that exact message arrived. Cause I didn't express my thoughts in such a way that made me realize just how much I actually loved writing .I didn't have that alone time that I dreaded so much before-as at that point I dreaded myself as well. But,the fact is,I actually liked Grace.One of a handful of people who understood my thought process so I didn't give her a half-assed answer,like I did to dozens of people before hand.Holy cow,I actually let my guard down and my poetic side shun.Before I would probably make fun of people who texted like she and I do,aka support+compliments+jumping from topic to topic.She is the first person from my country that I told about me being bi; and I almost spat out my cereal when she texted me ''Wait,you are bi?''. I typed ''idk..maybe?'',and to my relief she didn't seem to have an issue with it at all. So one text after another,I stopped looking at her as Ally's little sister's friend,but a good friend of my own.I have a strange feeling we are going to be good friends,I hope my gut is right about this one too.

-Tony.A lanky,man bun wearing co-worker.

The super approachable dude with whom,for that exact reason spoke to first.He is super helpful,calm and understanding.He's one of the people that helped me so much during my first few weeks at work,the period that was filled with me being clumsy with everything,including breathing. So during all that chaos and rush he'd pull me a side and look me in the eyes and say breathe,he'd distract me with banter and jokes too,I will always be grateful for that.He became one of my friends in the days that came and as we both liked art,drawing in this case I said that-sure-I do want to go draw. And as you might have guessed-we didn't end up drawing.But no,NO it wasn't like that,not at all,ya pervs. We sat there in the park telling our stories,it was nice, my 17yo self ended up giving life advice to this super naive 20 something year old. ''Yes''I agreed on one thing he said,''I also hate it when people think I am flirting when I am just being nice''. Lo and behold,he ended up being one of those people,and I ended up being a bit of a cunt,but that's a story of it's own.