Shattered

Back Again

One day, I had been out to get coffee, and I received a call from a number that I did not recognize, but I still picked up. "Hello?" "Hello, Eva." Oh hell no, oh hell no. Why the hell does he think it is okay to come back and call me out of nowhere. "What the hell do you want from me, Yousuf?" "I want you to forgive me Eva for what I did to you. Please listen to me and let's just meet." I could not believe the words I was hearing. How was he going to say these things, especially when I'm drinking coffee? Coffee makes me relaxed, and he was ruining my relaxation! I just started shouting out all my anger at him on the phone. I was so angry that he thought it was okay to come to me after so long. I hung up on him, and he called me numerous of times and showed up to my house of course. Well not directly at my house, but this shortcut area that I go through to get home.

"Well, well, well, the devil has appeared," I stated.

"Hello, Eva." Yousuf is smiling as if this is a sick joke.

"I'm here, what the hell do you want?"

"Eva, I'm sorry for what happened, and I'm sorry for what I did to you. I don't know what happened between us; I don't know why I did what I did. I have no concrete explanation for you, Eva." He seemed a little sincere with his words.

"Yousuf. I don't trust you. I don't believe you. You hurt me in ways that I cannot put into words. I cried for weeks and weeks, and you know that. You know how sensitive I am, and you know what kind of mess you left me in. Do you know why I hate you so much? I hate you so much because I goddamn love you. I love you, Yousuf. You cheated on me, you lied to me, you lost feelings for me, and I am here in love with you. Noah was my best friend, and I lost him because I chose you. I chose you because at the end of the day it had to be you, and I knew I was at home when I was with you. I may have loved Noah, but I love you, I love you always. I loved Noah for being there; I loved Noah for being my best friend. But I love you, Yousuf." When I stopped talking, he came closer to me and just hugged me. As I moved back, he kissed me. "Yousuf, what the hell are you doing?" He kept kissing me. "Yousuf what the hell are you seriously doing, let me go." I pushed him away and slapped him. "You know how I feel about you! You know how I feel about you and you kiss me! You don't love me! You don't have any feelings for me and you willingly just kissed me! You kissed me, Yousuf. I will never in a million years forgive you." I ran home crying so much.

How do you will kiss someone that you know is still in love with you and you have no ounce of feelings for her? Have you lost your mind?