Life's Fear

Chapter Fourteen

"Please tell me you are joking," Max pleaded, turning to me with a rather annoyed expression as she halted retrieving her chemistry book out of her locker. "Blair."

"I wish I was," I said, though a part of me knew that wasn't true.

The first time of staying over at a guy's house, I thought it would be different. Despite not having been in a relationship for a long while, I would have thought we'd have shared a special night together and we just so happened to fall asleep. And the guy was not Jason. Nor had he made me stay awake until three before commanding me to go outside with him... and nor did I think I'd be rushing out of the house in the afternoon and lying to my family about it.

Max shook her head as if I was about to spurt out the truth and that was all just some embellishment as a preamble. But that was not the case. Not this time. One hundred percent the truth... even about seeing his body and sharing the same bed. On the other hand, I had to admit I left out the details about him staying facing me the entire night and the way his hair looked in the morning and his voice... call me bizarre, but I wanted to keep those just to myself. It made me wonder if he had shared those with anyone else. He said he hadn't, but was he being honest?

"Blair, what are you doing? You're playing with fire. If he finds out you have a picture of him committing a crime, he will never forgive you."

"He won't find out if you keep your voice down," I urged.

The reason I was telling Max all of this now was because she didn't want to wait until lunch as the anticipation was too intense by this point and she was drowning in inquisitiveness. It was hard to judge whether she was disappointed or not by the news. Glancing around, I sighed of relief. He was nowhere to be seen, though a disproportionate size of me wished I could just see him even just fleetingly.

Though whether you wanted to confess it or not, Jason was attractive. He had that style – almost like a bad boy – that enticed you. He was a walking enigma, no matter how cliché that was. He was sheltered, and he had all these secrets just begging to be exposed. It drew you in, even if you hated that. He sucked you into his water vortex and you were drowning. You couldn't escape. Once you were trapped, you were done for.

Max scoffed. "If you keep something hidden or lie to someone, they will always find out, Max. Take it from my cousin. She cheated on her fiancé and she was keeping the secret so well absolutely no one had any idea, but her fiancé still found out." They were no longer together now, as expected, I guess. "Speak of the devil," she murmured, casting a glance in my direction but looking further than me.

My head whizzed around before I could process my action. Max scoffed again, and I was sure she had rolled her eyes to accompany the scoffing. Jason was seemingly strutting through the corridor in a leather jacket, light jeans and a light top, too. He ran a hand through his already-styled hair, but it was all for nothing. No one was noticing him. Except me.

It bizarrely infuriated me. Whether he had tried hard or not, someone should be noticing him and his appearance. He definitely wasn't ugly at all, and I knew I couldn't be thinking like that, but it was true. Especially after witnessing him devoid of a shirt, there was nothing I could say negatively about him except maybe his behaviour. And the vandalism.

Jason's eyes landed on me a moment later and his lips flicked up into a smirk which then he began to pout out. I was growing accustomed to this expression of his, and I rather liked it. You never normally saw a guy smirk like this, but it was something different that made it almost uniquely his. And then I realised I hadn't ceased gawking at him like a moron, so I swiftly turned around to see Max with raised eyebrows staring at me.

"What?" I asked, feigning nonchalance spectacularly.

"Could you be any more discreet?" she replied sarcastically, slamming her locker shut with her usual demeanour, though there was a fiery attitude in company with it this morning since I'd informed her of my late-night rendezvous with Jason who she had deemed somewhat forbidden and perilous.

"Hey," came Jason's voice from behind me.

Max turned away, crossing her arms over her chest. Her head was almost inclined to her right shoulder as opposed to her usual twitch, but she shrugged almost imperceptibly. She was feeling uncomfortable right now and it was unfair to her to land her in this situation and retain it for longer than necessary. I could always text Jason, though I did want to hear his voice.

Even other students were beginning to stare now that Jason was viewed with two other people, though one obviously didn't want to be a part of it. I did. I really did, and that thought was scaring me. It made me decide that I was not going to disclose any of this to Max, especially not whilst she still thought Jason was creepy and intimidating and just odd... not to mention the fact that he has defaced areas around Bellmere.

"I'll see you later, Blair," he said, casting a glance at Max now that his smirk had perished before ambling off down the corridor. The strut that was a part of his gait had left and now he was back to his usual walk.

But that was the last I saw of Jason all throughout school. In the corridors, I tried to get a glimpse of him here and there but no avail. As Max had left for some sports extra curriculum – it gets exceedingly easy to lose track, especially when they're cancelled repeatedly in the fall and winter and rearranged with something else to accommodate for the weather – and I was on my own, I decided to text Jason. Jesse was waiting in the car, and his gaze, I could tell, was frantically searching through the sea of students. I bet he was waiting to see Jason.

Me: Where were you today at the end? I was expecting you to be behind me whilst I was at my locker.

I texted Jason when it began to niggle in my mind about his disappearance. There was no reason I could conjure to why he would miss most of the school day.

His reply was almost instant.

Jason: Hospital appointment.

Me: You? Was it serious?

Jason: Just some routine check-up of a sprained ankle I had a few years ago. It never healed properly.

Me: Is everything okay with it?

Jason ignored my question and proceeded to amend the topic.

Jason: Want to meet up again later? This time it can be earlier.

I made it to Jesse just before I could write a reply. I got in when Jesse turned to me and asked, "No Jason today then?"

All I could do was stare at him as I dumped my bag in the foot well before closing the door and putting on my seatbelt. Jesse said nothing else on the matter which I was thankful for because I don't think I could have endured the lectures and embarrassment from him. It was still a consistent worry that he would spill all to Mum. Instead, I got my phone out and replied as the car began to brim with awkward tension.

Me: Sure. Just tell me when.

I was still questioning myself to why I was meeting up with Jason. There was something about him that I wanted to know more about – the graffiti, for example. There had to be some underlying reason to why he wanted to deface areas of Bellmere. But no matter how much I contemplated it, I just couldn't delve any deeper into the enigma.

The ride home was silent as Jesse bopped a little when he turned the radio up once we made it out of the school vicinity. He said nothing else, so when we got home I raced upstairs to my room before he could have the opportunity to get a word in. My laptop was inviting me to add to the list of Jason's graffiti, so that was the first thing I did before I dropped my bag to the floor, resting against my bed. With the weight disproportionately distributed, the bag flopped in the other direction, but I disregarded it as soon as the Word document opened. I added the recent graffiti, though I'd been a little late.

1)      LIFE'S FEAR – Under the bridge.

2)      WE CREATE FEAR – Bus stop at Water's Edge Avenue.

3)      THE DARKNESS IS ALIVE – Fountain at Bellmere's Botanical Gardens.

And then all I had to do was wait... immensely impatiently.