This Silence Kills Me

Emo

Fag

Cut yourself

Slut

Emo whore

Kill yourself

Go die

Whoreeeee

Drop dead Hannah

These were just some things I read as I logged into my twitter. I hated my life.

My names Hannah. I'm 16 years old. I have long black scene hair. A septum piercing, snake bites, dimples, tongue web and bellybutton. Yes I know, that's a lot. But I don't give a rats ass. So to answer your question, yes. I am 'emo' my fav band is Of Mice & Men. I also like SWS, BVB, Skillet, ATL and many more ((too many to count cx)).

I stared at my laptop and cried as I scrolled through more hate and death comments on my twitter. I did run across one comment though...

You're beautiful<3

I love whoever wrote that. I instantly followed them back. That one comment meant a lot to me. I cried, ruining my makeup, as I read more comments. I shut my laptop and threw it across my room. I looked up at my Of Mice & Men posters. Austin Carlile was a handsome guy. ((Austin is 21 at the beginning of this FF)) I smiled a little as I popped in a CD.

"When your reflection in the mirror smiles back it lies, you know it," I sung along.

"At the end of the day, what will you choose?" I cry as I sing. All memories flooding back.

"It's not over, we're not alone anymore." I jump up as I sing the last line. I head for my bathroom. I went under the sink where I kept a blade hidden. I closed the door even though no one was home to see me. I didn't want to end my life I just needed to release some pain. At least for a while.

"Mom... I wish you were here," I cried out loud. I slit my wrist once, letting the blade dance across my skin as the beautiful red liquid came out.

My mom was hit by a car when I was 9. My dad hadn't been the same since. He was always verbally abusing me. He made no physical contact with me. He was just always putting me down. It hurt knowing that the only person I had left, hated me.

"Why..." I asked myself as I cut six more times on my wrist. "Marry..." I whispered as I wrote her name on my wrist with my blade. It hurt terribly but it felt... Good... Soothing. I felt like I was in control of my life when I cut. Then I heard the front door open. Shit. Who the hell was here?

"Emo! I'm home! I bought you some new blades!" My father chuckled. I opened the door.

"Thanks dad! Helps a lot!" I yelled back sarcastically.

"No problem! Just lookin out for my baby girl." I could hear him smirking to himself. God I hate him.

"Just like always dad," I said to myself. I cleaned up the blood on my arm and went into the kitchen where I heard him drop off the bags.

"Hannah take your blades to your room. I need to make myself dinner. You're not eating tonight because you're STILL fat. Are you hiding food in your room?" I hadn't eaten since Friday... 5 days ago.

"No sir I haven't been eating, and no I don't have food in my room." I replied grabbing my blades.

"Do I need to go check?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Nah. No food for me. Do it for the thighs right dad?" I tried to smile at him but was shot a glare.

"Do it for the thighs fat ass."

I went back to my room and put the blades in my top dresser drawer. That entire drawer was dedicated to all NEW blades. It was almost full again. I needed to be using them more.

An hour later I picked my laptop back up. Luckily I hadn't broken it when I threw it. I logged into my tumblr.

"OF MICE & MEN TICKETS! CONTEST NOW! ENTER TO BE THE LUCKY WINNER OF FREE CONCERT TICKETS AND BACK STAGE PASSES."

"Ohhhh shit," I though. Might as well enter. I'm not gonna win but might as well for the hell of it I though.

-A/N sorry this chapter doesn't have anything big in it. It's only the first chapter so I didn't wanna out anything TOO traumatizing hehe :3-