Let me just start at the beginning. New years. The day I met a whole new set of friends, started doing different things, and really started to find myself. Why it took so long for me to discover who I really am? I wish I knew. I was 18, turning 19 just days later.
In this new set of friends, stood out a certain girl I've seen around but never spoke to in my life. I've heard multiple things about her, good and bad. Though I didn't let either factors play a role in my view of her. At least not until I got to know her.
Destiny was her name. My heart was her game. Who I thought would turn out to be my very first girlfriend, turned out to be the worst start of the year.
The first day we met, she invited me over to stay the night. I thought nothing of it, I wanted to be her friend really bad because I thought she was cute. So all is cool that first day, we shared a bowl together, went a few places and watched some tv. The end of the night reached and we were both laying in her bed. I don't remember exactly what was going on or how it got to this point, but I remember her trying to take pictures of me as I was laying beside her and I playfully told her to stop, so she tried to tickle me to get me to move my hands and I'd end up taking her phone. I guess that was flirting. This was a whole new experience for me. Anyway, at some point she had given up trying to get her phone back, well I was holding it away from her on the other side of me and she used it as an excuse to get closer to me as she tried to "reach" for it. Well I thought it was a little strange she was so close to me so I gave her her phone back, but she still didn't move over. Instead she layed there pressed against me, her face close to mine and as I started to fall asleep she got closer.
I felt her lips brush against mine suddenly and I woke, but I kept my eyes shut so she wouldn't react. I was so confused as to what was happening at this point, I didn't know what to do. I also wasn't apposed to it, I just felt like she really dove for it. And I mean, she really did. Before I knew it, we were just laying there making out for what felt like hours. I started feeling her hands wonder around my body, lightly grabbing every once in a while. I was nervous. I guess this was going to be my first time, you know, having sex; it was happening.
The next day came around, I lingered at her house for a few hours before heading home with this weird feeling. I couldn't figure out if I was really into her or if I was just kind of there expirimenting. As time went on, she continued with the same routine no matter where we were. Even around our friends as they slept around us. It was a little weird to me but I still let it happen. The more this went on, the stronger I started to feel for her. I felt like I was falling for her, for some weird reason. That wasn't the case, though, soon after I discovered she was only leading me on and using me for her own selfish reasons, I soon realized myself that I only craved the feeling I had when I was with her. It was something I had never felt or experienced before, and it was a pleasant thing.
