"Kai naman... Maaayos pa naman natin to diba?"
Halos lumuhod na ako sa harap niya ngayon bawiin niya lang ung sinabi niya kanina.
Humarap siya sa akin ng marahas. Frustration evident all over his face. Sorry Kai... I didn't mean to stress you out.
"Naman Andie eh! Nakikipagbreak na ako sayo. Pwede ba tanggapin mo na lang ung desisyon ko?!"
Sigaw niya sa mukha ko. Napapikit ako dahil doon. At sa pagpikit kong un, lumabas bigla ung mga alaala naming dalawa. 2 years na kami ni Kai. Masaya naman, walang problema. Almost a fairytale. Until this happened. Nakipagkita siya sa akin at un ang sinabi niya. "Let's break up"
Tatlong salitang pumatay sa buong pagkatao ko. Dumilat ako at hinawakan ang kamay niya.
"Kai, bakit? Wala namang problema diba? If you're confused, I'll give you time. Cool-off. But I'm sorry, I won't break up with you. That's too much Kai"
Tinulak niya ako kaya napaupo ako sa lupa. Hindi ko alam kung malakas ang pagkakatulak niya o nanghihina lang talaga ako kaya ako natumba.
"Pwede ba Andie? I'm not confused nor asking for a fucking time! I want a break-up!"
"No Kai. I love you and you love me too. We love each other. Umabot tayo ng dalawang taon dahil mahal natin ang isa't isa at alam kong makakaya natin to"
"Andie! Shit! Yun na nga eh! Hindi na to maaayos dahil hindi na kita mahal! Can't you understand Andie? I fell out of love with you!"
Para akong nanigas nang marinig un. Parang biglang tumahimik ang lahat at tumigil din ang pagtibok ng puso ko. Parang BANG! at patay na ako emotionally.
He... He fell out of love with me?
Ngumiti ako at tumayo. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pa ako nakakangiti kahit ang sakit sakit na. Oo, ang sakit sakit na pero hindi pa rin ako umiiyak.
"You...what? Why... I... Where did I ever go wrong... Kai?"
Halos pabulong kong tanong. I was dumbfounded, firsthand. I... want to know why. Every word that comes out from my mouth is like ripping my heart into two. Sumisikip. Ito ung klaseng sakit na hihilingin mo na lang mamatay kesa maramdaman to.
Ang... sakit.
"Are you really that naive Andie? Hindi mo ba naraarmdamang lumalayo na ako sayo dati pa? That time I was still confused with what I feel for you. We keep on dating. Almost everyday. I... I was trying to revive my feelings for you that time... I tried to save my love for you Andie.."
Tumingin siya sa akin at nagkatinginan kami. His eyes. His eyes are glistening with... Sadnes... With mercy? His eyes that always glisten with love is nothing now pero awa. Awa para sa akin. Nafall out nga siya, ang sakit.
"But I failed Andie. Hindi ko alam bakit, paano pero wala na talaga akong nararamdaman para sayo. Our first year was full of happiness and bliss, the remaining year, full of coldness and hurtings"
Ngumiti ako sa sinabi niya. Wala na talaga. Humakbang ako papalapit sa kanya. I'm staring at him lovingly. His perfect features... Oh how I love this man.
Hinaplos ko ang pisngi niya at nakaramdam ng electricty sa buong katawan. Mahal na mahal ko tong lalaking to.
"Kai... I'm letting you go. You tried right? That's enough for me. You move on but I won't. I will always love you. Forever. This would be the last Kai. I love you"
At hinalikan ko siya. Doon ko binuhos lahat. Pagmamahal, saya, lungkot. Pero sana hindi niya naramdaman ang lungkot.
Dumilat ako habang hinahalikan siya. Nakapikit siya. How I love this man... So much.
Dumilat siya at nagulat. Pinunasan niya ang mukha kong patuloy na inaagusan ng luha. Yes. I finally cried. Nilabas ko na lahat sa halik na un.
He wiped my tears and closed his eyes. He started responding to my kiss and I smiled. Bumitaw na ako.
He was taken aback because of that and I smiled sweetly to him. Sincere and genuine smile while tears are still flowing.
With one last glance, I mouthed I love you and turn my back at him.
Forever... Forever Kai.
Everything has their limitations... Their ending. Including love.
