"....I can't help it ....what I see is real what I ...experience...is real...I can feel his grasp getting stronger and stronger on me my breath shortening so quickly ...I canticanticanticantnononono."
I open my eyes quickly. My gaze Darted all over the room to the boofs , the people, the amount of smoke in the room and then finally down to my drink. I jumped as a the touch of a warm hand touched my shoulder. I gazed up at the figure only for him to offer a smile at me.
"Sean!...you doing all right man?" Ah....Rob..I laugh faintly to myself pulling a smile on. If course I'm not okay shit bag..but it's not like he'd notice.
"Yeah..um I'm doing fine ..."
"You look like something's rattling you? Are you sure." He sat down next to me and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Rob was taller then me but he wasn't too much of a bad guy..he was a cop in the matter..which yeah that did sorta made my aniexty jump to another layer of this pit hole of my depression..but I can't blame him..He's been my friend through high school and has helped me and cared about me through so many problems..he gets worried now abt my health since he found out about my situation that I finally got out of at home..he looked at me his blue eyes shining with the bars light. He handed me the pack. "I bought you those cigarettes you wanted. Jesus I don't really understand why you smoke these things they aren't healthy."
"What's the issue? You know I've been doing them for a while now."
"Yeah but ...god I'm constantly worried about you...even your drinking vodka too."
"Like how my mom made it ha." I mumbled to myself taking the cigarettes and then taking a drink. The sour taste fueling up my system as usual. I looked back over to Robbie seeing the worry in his eyes.
"Sean.......what happened?"
"I-It's nothing...seriously I don't want to talk about it ." I can't help but hear the disappointment in his voice .. I pulled up my mess of hair into a messy bun. I can't help but take a cigarette and lighted it. My body is dead . Its all so fucking dead or at least my god dam mind is. I could feel Robs hand grab my wrist. He was a pretty well built guy but. I couldn't help but look at the veins in his wrist. I looked at him raising an eyebrow.
"How much have you been drinking?"
"The bottles going home with me why?"
"I'm not letting you walk home by yourself you could get hurt."
"Is that your way of saying your gonna arrest me?" I pulled a cocky smile across my face to lighten the mood.
"As long as your not with your dad again I'm fine , and if you want to be." He playfully winked at me. Probably as a joke maybe. Fuck I love his come backs at me. We both got up from our seats. I lit a cigarette while Robbie apparently decided to take care of my tab. Such a rich fuck. We both walked outside and I carried my bottle of vodka with me.
"Wait I thought you got out of work this time, where's the car?"
"Chief let me out early so I decided to walk here."
"What the fuck Robbie?"
"What?"
"What about you? How you gonna get back?" He shrugged. He rolled his eyes looking to the ground.
"I can handle my way back dumbass I'm just worried about getting you back. Knowing you you'd run into fucking trouble and call me to come get your ass out of it." He pulled a cocky smile looking back to me. I smirked rolling my eyes.
"Really ? Reeaaaallly? OH ROBBIE HELP ME THERES A SUCKER TRYING TO SUCK MY DICK HELLP!!"
" SEAN ! Jesus Christ you fucker !" We both went to a straight up laugh. We walked past a few blocks. The city was well lit tonight. The lights and cars and oh fuck greatest scenery in my opinion. " Hey Sean you stupid fucker I got to ask you a question?"
"What's the problem officer?"
"You really tired?" Shook my head.
"No what's up?"
"You wanna go driving around? Like we did in high school-?"
"CAN WE GO FUCK SHIT UP??????" I asked quickly. He put his hand over my mouth to silence me quick.
"Yes dumbas- did you just lick my hand?" He looked at me cocking an eyebrow. I smirked politely as he pulled his hand away.
"Yeeeeep."
"Gross." He nudged me playfully laughing. "Are you sure your not drunk?"
" Come on Robbie you know me I don't get fucked until 12 am. So are we doing this or what? Let's go have fun."
"Alright , we got to get my actual car first and we are about to pass my place." I looked straight ahead and made a dart for it. I could hear Robbie in the back calling for me. I skidded and turned into his drive way and ran towards the car. I looked over to Robbie and stopped. He shook his head at me with a grin. "so we going dumbass?"
"Of course shitbag!" The dream... I can't explain it but...when Robs with me.. I can feel every terrible thought in my head slip.. he makes me so happy..
