Burning Crimson

Chapter Twenty-three

The smell of greasy grilled cheese filled the air in the kitchen. Jean was washing it down with watery lemonade, her thoughts of Harry and his current state of mind was fucking with her, he was already so hurt and broken, he didn't need any more chips or cracks to his smashed soul.

"This is disgusting," Jean said in a sharp tone, sounding almost snarky.

"You did make it," Lilac says and looks over at Jean who narrowed her eyes at the small girl. She hated this girl, forced to be a mother figure to her had made some resentment towards her. Jean was having a hard time caring for herself when being taken from home, and then Lilac was there, waiting for her. Jean was tire of taking care of everyone but something told her to protect Colette, to save her from something but she didn't know what yet. 

"I wasn't fucking talking to you, you little twat," she spits, chewing on her slightly darkened grilled cheese, her attitude alone was enough to ruin any meal, Shawna was watching them, wondering why she seemed to be the only one with any common sense or regular thoughts. Shawna wanted to hit something, a heavy rock of rage was sitting at the bottom of her belly, her fists were clenched and wanting to feel contact, a hard blow. 

"I'm so sorry he didn't want to touch you, that he didn't want to be with you," Lilac said in a sweet voice, sweet enough to give Shawna a tooth ache. "But, know that it's not my fault," she says and blinks at her a few times before throwing her grilled cheese away.

"You're wasting food?" Jean asks and stands up, her hair already moving back and forth on her sides. "You know we can't afford to get food whenever we please!" Lilac looked at her with her burning coal colored eyes.

"Now you're looking for any reason to yell at me! You hate me but you're not getting mad at me, you're mad at Colette - she's the one you're mad at! Not me!" Lilac was a fire burning higher and higher, hotter and hotter. Shawna was tired of it, tired of their shit.

"That's not whats bothering me, shut up already," Jean said, raising her voice, Harry didn't come running down to stop them from showing actual human emotions, he was feeling his own after ignoring them for so long. Humans were made with emotions and everyone who has ever been hurt by love and loss had become adjusted to just feeling that was a void, no emotions were better than feeling everything. Shawna didn't want to know how they should be feeling, they loved Harry and what if they didn't but it was the loss that pushed them into his arms, his comforting and loving arms. Shawna looked at the girls and had enough of everything, they were trapped and arguing with one another was doing fuck all for anything. 

"Both of you just shut the fuck up," her clenched fists slammed on the table to get their attention, both girls stiffened and looked at the brunette, Shawna had their attention finally but that power evaporated when she seen Colette standing in the kitchen door way but Harry wasn't there, leading her with his chains and keys. "Are you okay, Colette? You look sick," she says, walking over to the smaller girl and put her hand on her forehead, she was getting paler as the days went by and her hygiene was horrible, even after showering there was still an odd odor that followed her like a shadow.

"I'm cold.. I don't know - it's nothing," She says, despite her chattering jaw and second skin consisting of goosebumps. 

"Go lay down," Jean said in her mothering tone. "You'll feel better when you're under a warm blanket and have some food inside of you," she got up and went to make a grilled cheese for Colette. Lilac seemed to have forgotten what was said and done, she immediately started talking about the first idiotic thing that came to her head. Colette sat close beside Shawna.

"If he's not eating at all, d'you think he could be anorexic or like.. that other one?" Shawna knew she was being completely serious and it went to show to the older woman just how innocent Lilac was when it came to actual issues in their life, home and selves. Jean stood there at the stove, dark smoke came up from the pan when she stood still, listening to Lilacs words instead of watching her cooking. She shoved the pan flying into the counter and the grilled cheese flew on to the counter.