The Trouble With Love (SHOEY Fanfic) DISCONTINUED

Don't Flee From Your Feelings (Chapter 10)

**WARNING**

Intense Chapter.

You have been warned.

~~~~~~

I looked up with a start to see Shane standing over me. He was sneering. Oh shit. He heard.

---Just a few minutes ago---

"I don't understand. I'm madly in love with a monster."

Izzy and I were sitting in Dairy Queen, eating our Blizzards. I had finally convinced her to hear me out with the whole 'Shane thing'. I needed to vent to someone about my feelings.

She was calmly examining my every movement as i spoke, from a muscle twitch to taking a spoonful of my Blizzard. She looked slightly pissed, but at least she was listening.

I think the only reason she agreed was so i would 'get better'.

"I never wanted to be gay. Izzy... I can't get over Shane... I've been in love with him since I met him. I didn't say anything then. But things happened... I tried getting over him then, too. I went out with several people, and to be honest, I felt like i was just a lump. I couldn't connect with any of them. But when i'm with Shane, I've never felt more alive... I didn't want to admit this... But I think Shane might be my soulmate..."

I stared at the table, tearing up. This is the part where she says she hates me for loving her abusive brother, and for being so depressed.

When I looked back up, her face was full of fear, staring up above my shoulder.

I turned around quickly and...-

---Present---

Shane glared down at me from where he was standing, holding two ice creams. The other was probably for Lisa.

Oh shit. He heard.

I expected him to hit me, but instead he laughed.

Not a nice, beautiful Shane laugh. An evil laugh, filled with anger and disgust.

"All this, because you," he attempts to mimic my voice. "L-love me."

My heart sank. Why did I say that? I told him I loved him that night. I had vowed to never tell anyone that phrase... I told myself that was best... I couldn't get hurt if I never gave away my heart.

"Joey. I'm not gay. But obviously you are, f*ggot."

Being called a f*ggot isn't that big of a deal to me. I've been called that so many times. But the love of my life just called me that! Well, now is a good time to be upset. This is it.

My mind was numb. I couldn't breathe.

Who is this man? This isn't Shane.

"I-I-I... I don't know what to say..." I really didn't. I couldn't think of anything to say back. It all was so overwhelming, I couldn't think straight.

Shane smirked at me and glared at Izzy before stalking out the door.

I.

Needed.

Out.

My heart was racing and I couldn't catch my breath. Everywhere I looked I saw nothing but fog.

I can't let Izzy watch me have another panic attack.

I stumbled out of the booth we were sitting in, and I ran to the men's room.

It was empty.

Good.

I quickly locked myself in, and curled up in the corner, ignoring how filthy it must be.