Makeup remover wipes S.M.

Chapter 84

My hands shake in his while we await our lawyers news about wether or not he's ours. I want him to be ours more than words can tell. Getting pregnant was horrible, Shawn and I didn't talk for two weeks. I wanted nothing to do with him. We were already on bad terms, he'd just made it worse.

Flashback

"Congratulations, you're pregnant!" I'd gone to the doctor for a routine check up, I thought so at least.

"Shawn," I growled, he wanted to wait outside and now I understand why.

"Hear me out?" He begged knowing I'm already unhappy with him.

"There's nothing you could say to make this better."

End of flashback

"Don't shake so much of he won't tell us," Shawn whispers, I want not for a second my attention to be turned away from the lawyer who's explaining things to us, things I don't hear, or grasp or understand at all. They're probably important things, but I can't find any will to listen, I just wanna know if he's ours. God he's beautiful, and his hair and that smile. My heart lit up and I could feel a connection. He was ours, mine and Shawn's no one else's, no one else should have our baby it should be us. All of the hours spent mourning could end up being for nothing. We haven't told the kids yet, I don't know when we will. Maybe when we find out for sure he's ours, or maybe when he comes home.

"I'm sorry I'm just so nervous," I mumble he kisses my hand, softly. He'd bring me on to his lap, normally, but he's struggling a little now, his knees are going and he can't hold me very well. He loves cuddling me though, just because he can do that, no problem.

"Don't be nervous, be happy," he presses his lips onto my temple while the lawyer gets into the precautions we'll have to start worrying about. I blank him out, staring at the envelope. We got to feel our boy kick, and that was by far the sweetest moment in the whole thing. It's the only time Shawn and I were really happy. He'd carry me up the stairs and lay me in bed and care for me. We still didn't talk but we admired, and we actually ended up happy, and it had been a long time since we'd felt that.

"I'm trying," I mumble finally able to process what he said. It's hard to listen, or care when he's holding the envelope with the DNA results in it. I want him, I want him so badly. He's just gorgeous and his parents will be upset, but I wanna bring my baby boy him. I would never wanna completely take him away, but I'd want him to be raised here, at home, with us.

"I know it's hard," our lawyer explains. "And it's a lot to take in, but you both need to stay calm and be very cautious about who you tell." We hired someone that both Brooke and Mercy recommended we would've loved them on ours case but it would be to hard for them to argue.

"It's time for the results now love," Shawn whispers while I grab his hand. I plant repetitive soft kisses against his skin. As soon as we're done with this case, we're gonna have to get him some new knees. They're the reason he can't lift me, because as long as he's sitting weights are easy, push ups he can do no problem.

"Biologically," the lawyer starts, dragging it on just to torture us I'm sure. "He's yours." My lips press against Shawn's in celebration, there will be more celebrating but done between the two of us and the four walls of our home.

"Our baby boy, he can come home." I smile squeezing him and sitting myself in his lap.

"He can, But it'll take a while." I nod softly at the lawyer explaining things mainly to Shawn, he's the only one that picking it up.

"You hear that baby girl?" My head lay on his shoulder. "It's gonna be a while before we can bring him home," I nod against his shoulder. The lawyer looks disgusted and Shawn sends him out.

"It's gonna take a lot though," I mumble finally able to process. "And," I let a long sigh burying my head in his shoulder. "Your knees, and," tears fill my eyes. "We can't take him away from them."

-

"Soon, I'm going to get my knees done, and I'm gonna do everything I can to carry you again." He hums while we dance around the kitchen. "And we'll have our baby boy with us here sometimes too, and I'll hold both of you." He smiles kissing down the right side of my face. "All of the time." We both talked and figured we'd should at least get to see him, so if they wanna raise him fine but we should get him half of the week. They get for days we get three, and if we're going away we'll discuss wether to bring him or not, we will fight for custody but offer them half once we've achieved what we hope is our regain of custody which technically we never lost or signed away.

"I love you," my hand caresses his cheek, the both of us show smiles to the world, to our family to everyone but it's hard sometimes. He gets it, he always has, with him I can be me and not worry about anything even if he did scare me a lot in past years. Thirty five years later and here we are, trying to regain custody over our sixteenth child while watching in awe at the way the others have grown up! I think they're all perfect and I know he feels the same.

"I love you too," the words leave his lips so delicately so softly, the way that he's always talked to me. So softly as if he were afraid he words might wound me. "You, are my forever and my always," thirty five years, 12775 days, and every time I wake up next to him it feels like the first.

"I love you teddy bear," I smile and he chuckles kneading his hands through my hair.

"I love you too, shorty." Thirty five years, and only now, can I really believe him. "I love you too."