“Hey, Arrriia?” Ezra says. I take out my headphones and put down by book. I had been reading while Ezra was on the phone with his Uncle John, I.E. the uncle who owns and lives on this farm. “Yeah?” I ask.
“Guess where we are?”
“Where?” I ask.
“Kansas.”
I smile and do a little victory dance. “Where in Kansas?” I ask. I had stopped looking at maps or asking where we were hours ago. We had started driving at seven am, and it’s around six thirty pm now.
“We’re about forty minutes from the farm.”
“really?!” I ask.
“Really really.” he says. I smile and start packing up my stuff, only leaving my phone out.
“So,” I say, turning to face Ezra. “What else did your Uncle say?”
“Well,” Ezra says. “He said Aunt Betty is cooking us dinner as we speak.”
“I can’t wait to have a good, home cooked meal!”
He laughs. “Yeah. I guess. So, I gotta warn you… Chris, my cousin, he’s going through a bit of a phase. He might not be the friendliest to you. Or anyone. And Peter… well.. He’s… quiet.”
“quiet?”
“Yeah. I don’t think he really talks. Like, at all.”
“Like, ever?”
“Aunt Betty says they have to yank any kind of words out of him lately. They’re worried about him. They’re actually hoping us coming will help.”
“Hmm..” I say. “What about school?”
“He’s home schooled. But I think they’re considering sending him back to school if he can’t snap out of this soon.”
I nod and begin digging through my bag for some make up.
“Does your grandpa still live with them?”
“Yup.” He says.
“So it’s your Aunt, Uncle, Grandpa and two cousins?”
“Yeah.” He says. “And plenty of cows, horses, chickens, ducks, pigs, sheep, a couple dogs and a really creepy black cat.”
“Sounds like fun.” I say, but I can hear the sarcasm in my own voice.
I pull out some foundation and start covering up the cuts on my fore arm.
“Hey, Ezra? Do you know if she’ll let us share a room?”
He stops at a red light and answers
“Uh… I guess we’ll find out… they’re pretty religious if you know what I mean. But they’re also laid back and a sucker for romance.” He speaks with his eyes locked on what I’m doing. I look up.
“What?” I ask.
“Isn’t that gonna hurt them?” he asks.
I shrug. “I think they’re healed enough. Besides, can’t have your family seeing them…”
We stare at each other for a minute then we hear a honk behind us, and we turn to see the light has turned green. He starts driving again and I lay back and sigh. “They won’t judge you.” He says.
“Yeah, I know. They’ll stick me at an in-patient hospital.”
“They would not.”
“They’d gather around me and start praying.”
he laughs. “Maybe Aunt Betty. But really Aria. They’ve been through that before. They can handle it.”
“Been through what?”
“Dealing with Self harm. Chris did it. Almost died once. Although that wasn’t his intention.”
“Oh. I didn’t know that.”
He nods. “So if you ever want help…” he takes my hand. “Aunt Betty is the one who helped Chris.”
“Apparently it didn’t help, cause now he’s drinking. He just switched from one self harm to the other. From cutting to drinking.”
He sighs. “I’m just saying. You don’t have to hide.”
“hiding is the only thing I know HOW to do. I mean look at us, Ezra! I just got off the phone a minute ago and told her that Hanna and I were stopping for coffee on our way to Texas.”
He looks over at me, at a loss for words. He sighs and looks back at the rode. “But remember. We’re coming here to find ourselves. Find out what’s been going on with our lives. Maybe you have to hide and lose yourself before you can find yourself.”
“Exactly..” I say. “And that’s why I’m hiding these. And maybe one day they’ll be lost and never return.”
