I'm Not Okay: a Ferard fanfic based on Cancer and I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

Ch. 2: Frankie

A/n: poor Frankie :( Hope this isn't too crappy of a fanfic tho

Frankie's POV
Frankie opened his eyes.

Stiff, white blankets.
Funny smell.
IV stuck in his arm.
Oh. Oh. Oh.

It all came rushing back to him, flooding his mind like a hurricane. Her. The pictures. Jumping out of the window. Falling, and her screaming his name.
His haziness disappeared and the memories came back so brutally it choked him, leaving him with a pulsing, horrible, panicked agony.

"Why am I still here?" He screamed. "I'm supposed to be dead, I'm supposed to be dead...!"

Doctors and nurses swarmed his hospital space, drawing the curtains shut again.

"Shh..."

"You're in a hospital...it's okay now..."

"You broke your foot, nothing more..."

"So lucky it wasn't worse than that..."

"Shh...shh...stop, you'll only make your foot worse."

"It's okay, you're going to get help here..."

"No! No!" He half screamed, half sobbed, thrashing wildly against restraining hands that were pinning him down. "No, no no..." He sobbed, repeating himself as if that were all he was capable of doing. "Dead. Dead. I should be dead."
Rage, fear, and depression choked him once more, until he lapsed into a subdued, dead silence.
The doctors left, but then a smiling woman entered the room, which was even worse.  All of the nurses or doctors were decent enough to not goddamn smile at him like life was some fucking bowl of cheerios, at least.

"Hi, Frank, I'm doctor Hadley, your therapist and psychiatrist."

God, no, not a fucking therapist , and on top of it, psychiatrist.

"I thought maybe you'd like to talk."

Talk? More like scream.

"I just have a few questions..."

Frankie stared straight ahead, eyes blank.

"What made you attempt suicide?"

He flinched and shrugged.

Dr. Hadley's voice softened. "It's nothing to be ashamed of."

Yes, it is! Frankie wanted to yell. What kind of idiot can't even off himself successfully? But he didn't say anything, just continued to stare straight ahead.

Dr. Hadley's voice hinted impatience. "Come now, there had to be a reason. Everything you say is in confidence." She coaxed.
Frankie switched his gaze to meet hers and glared at her fiercely, clearly letting her know he wasn't going to say a word.
She sighed, annoyed, and stood up. "When you're able to talk,  I'll come back." She paused. "You haven't eaten either, have you? I'll have someone send you something to eat."
Frankie shook his head mutely, he wasn't hungry, but it didn't matter. She had already left.

True to Dr. Hadley's word, a short while later, a sweet looking nurse in pink scrubs entered his little space carrying a plate of food. She set it on the small table by his bed, smiled warily at him as if afraid he would start screaming again, and quickly left.

She needn't have worried, thought Frankie ruefully. I'm all screamed out. I'm done with talking. He examined the plate of food listlessly. A plastic container of applesauce, a Styrofoam bowl of chicken noodle soup, an apple, and a saran wrapped piece of some sort of sweet bread sat on the plate. Banana bread or something. It all looked disgusting.

He picked up the applesauce and threw it at the wall as if that would solve his problems.

It didnt.

Ignoring the rest of the food, he turned over on the bed, huddled under the covers and slept.

A/n: haha this is so bad but whatever. I got the applesauce idea from my own experience fun fact; one of the times I was in the hospital I got pissed and threw an applesauce at one of the doctors xD
Next chapter will be in Gerard's POV ♡