Changing | SM

Part 32: my place

Adriana:

💞3 weeks later💞

I went home that night of the party, after my so small speech to Shawn about how he can't leave me.
I guess it sunk in because he's still here, in my life. I like to think that I have a influence on him, because he stopped smoking. I'm still unsure for the reason, but it was ever since that night.

"No! You need to get X alone on the one side. So take 6 over and then it becomes -6." I showed him again, but his focus was everywhere except the work.

"I think I just need a break." He sighed.
I saw the look on his face.
He was ready to give up, and I can't let that happen.

"Okay. Let's take a break." I smiled faintly at him. He immediately stood up and fell down on my bed. I learned one thing about him, no matter where he is... what's mine is his and also the other way around.
He doesn't believe in boundaries, but in some situations he sets them first.

"Hey, don't give up okay. You're gonna get it, and I won't give up till I get you there." I sat next to him, placing my hand down on his back. "Will I sound completely weird when I tell you that I've missed the touch of a woman." He mumbled.

I started laughing though, not thinking he was deeply serious, but as he rolled on to his back his eyes met mine and there was no smile on his face.
"What? Doesn't your mother ever scratch your back?" "I'm not home much." My eyebrows furrowed together. "Then where are you?" "I'm either here, or at Brian's." He closed his eyes again, showing his peace with the situation that he doesn't have a solid home and that he'll rather travel around from bed to bed or wherever he can get place to sleep, than stay at his own.

I kept my eyes on his, and he suddenly grabbed my leg, pulling it out towards him before resting his head down on my lap and holding on to my leg.
Butterflies were going wild in my tummy and my cheeks started burning.

"Will you show me?" I asked after a while of silence. "If you want to see. I'll show you." His thumbs were softly caressing my skin where he touched my leg.
The touch was somewhat amazing, and I have to say it, but I missed it too.
Having to be touched by a man with a drawn affection to me or me to him.

It's strange how you miss the feeling of something you lost.
You forgot how it felt to feel a certain way, but one moment can bring all those memories flooding back to you.

"I want to." He sat up, combing his fingers through his hair before standing uo and holding out his hand to me. "Then let's go." He doesn't hesitate to open up to me anymore... maybe I should do the same.

I took his hand in mine and We walked down to his car before he drove the path all the way to 'hideout'.
His home of his own.

"Home sweet home." He said, parking up in between two trees. It's bot that far away from the spot he showed me at the very beginning, which makes sense considering that's his first getaway spot. "You're a cabin person?" I chuckled, seeing the smile on his face.

"I only use a room." We walked up to the door and he opened up. No lock or key. It was empty.
Spiderwebs clinging on the ceilings and the smell of dust tickled my nose.

"Bless you." He chuckled after I sneezed. "Where do you stay?" He softly and slowly took my hand in his as he led me up to the far end room down the hallway.
I only saw an inflatable mattress, a small lava lamp and a chair.

Nothing more, nothing less.

"Shawn you can't stay here!" I said, but he just smiled at me, walking out to the front again before sitting down on the steps of the porch.

"I need to move around a bit. To shuffle my surroundings. I'd love to wake up in cities I don't know my way around and have conversations in languages I cannot entirely comprehend. There is always this tremendous longing in my heart to get lost, to be someone else, to be far far away from this." I sat down next to him.
Close.

He looked at me before looking down at my hand. I know how he feels, but not entirely.
"I don't want you to be someone else." I whispered, resting my chin on his shoulder as he took my hand in his.

Is this affection, or just showing care? I haven't known him for long yet it feels like years. Where this is heading... I don't know.