Back and better than ever

Chapter 32

~ previously ~
"Hello ?" I heard nothing so I decided to try again.
" Helloo? " just as I was about to hang up someone spoke and tears filled my eyes as I recognized his voice.

" Mom ?"

~ Karismas pov ~
I stood frozen for a while as I heard his innocent voice. Time flies hearing his deep little voice. I remember when he sounded so little. He would always bug me, asking me why his voice was so squeaky. How I wish that I never went to that trip. Everything would have been so different. We wouldn't be in this situation. He would still love me as his mother and not think that I abandoned him.

" Mom you there ? " snapping out of my thoughts I immediately replied.

" Yes yes I'm hear. Hi how are you ? " wiping my tears I sat on my kitchen counter as I waited for him to respond.

" I'm doing okay. How are you ?" It broke my heart that he spoke to me as if I was a stranger. Talking to me as if I was a relative they made him speak to on the phone with and he didn't want to.

" Better now " he stayed silent not saying anything.

" So what is it that you needed ? " I was nervous not knowing what he was going to say was killing me.

" Um I just um I - I don't know really " trying to make conversation so I could hear him speak to me I said " Well hows school going ? "

" Good um Mom ? "

" Yes baby ? " tears started to pool around my eyes just by hearing him call me that.

" I miss you. " he whispered so low that I almost didn't catch it.

My heart ached just by hearing those words come out of his mouth. I started smiling as tears after tears fell. Nothing made me more happy than hearing him say that.

" I miss you too my little bunny !" He stayed silent for a while until he spoke.

" Why did you leave me ? " it broke my heart hearing him say that.

" I don't want to talk about this over the phone baby. Can we meet up so that I can explain to you everything?" Scared about him rejecting my offer I waited patiently.

" Okay " for a 9 year old he grew up pretty smart.

" Okay well why don't I pick you up whenever you're free? "

" Um well if you want to we can talk today Mom ?"

" Okay perfect, ill ask your father if he can let me take you out to talk Okay ?" Hearing him talk to me without hatred in his voice made me feel so happy.

" Okay. Well um just telll my dad what time so he can tell me Okay ?

" Okay baby. Have a nice day." Really have a nice day ? He's my son for crying out loud. I should have said something else!

" Okay bye Mom." And just like that the line went dead.

I spoke to Derrick and he was ecstatic when I told him that Blake called me. Telling me that he was finally coming around. He told me that I could take him out in 2 hours. Its currently 1 of the afternoon and we agreed that I take him at 3.

I'm so excited! But also nervous at the same time. Like how should I start. What If I say something that will upset him! What if I take him a little gift. Or I could take him to his favorite arcade. What if he doesn't like that place anymore.

Gosh maybe all the things he liked he grew over them. I have no idea what to do. Getting a small pain in my head I grabbed my pills and swallowed down 2. I finally got over that disease I was diagnosed with a few months ago. It was very tough but I was able to fight myself through it.

Looking at the time I noticed that it was about to be 2. So I grabbed my phone and called Derrick. We talked over the phone about Blake. He told me about the things he likes and doesn't like. I was nervous thinking that if I got him a gift he wouldn't like it and would only take it so that he wouldn't hurt my feelings.

As the clock struck 2:50 my heart started racing. Grabbing the gift I got for Blake I head out and jump into my car. On my way there I couldn't help but wonder what would happen during our talk.

If I say something that will upset him then it's game over for me. He's the most important person to me. And having him hate me kills me. So if this goes wrong I don't know what I'll do.

As I reached Derricks house I park my car and turn off the engine. Taking a deep breath I step out and walk up the porch. I knock on the door and wait a couple of seconds before it was opened.

" Hey he's in his room " Derrick said as he stepped aside to let me in.

" Why is he still in his room ? Does he not want to go anymore ?" I question as I walk in.

" No no he does it's just that he came down then ran upstairs to change his sweater saying that your favorite color is red not orange." He laughed. I laughed with him and smiled remembering how he would always ask me what my favorite color was.

I would always tell him I didn't have one. Until one day I just blurted out red because he was wearing a red sweater. That finally got him to stop asking me. Everyday when we walked the streets he would look at random people and blurt out " My mommy's favorite color is red" and jump up and down.

Those were the good days. Hearing footsteps coming down I turn around to see Blake running down wearing a red hoodie. I smiled and walked up to him.

" Hi " I said as I stood close to him.

" Hi " he whispered shyly.

" Are you ready ?" He looked up and shook his head. I looked at Derrick as he gave me a reassuring smile. He mouthed good luck as me and Blake headed out.

We walked to my car and stepped in. I started driving to his favorite park as the awkward silence took in. It was killing me. But I didn't know what to say. This is outrageous! He is my son for crying out loud ! Why am I acting like such a baby ?!

As we arrived I parked and opened the door. We walked to a nearby bench and sat down.

" How was your day " I looked at him to see him looking down.

" It was good " he said shyly. I couldn't take this anymore it was too much for me.

" Look Blake i love you. You know that right ? " he looked up and whispered.

" Then why did you leave." Tears filled my eyes as he said that. Whipping my eyes I took a deep breath.

" I had no choice baby " tears filled his eyes and it killed me to see him cry.

" You promised Mom. You promised you wouldn't leave me like dad did ! "

" I know I know but listen I didn't want to okay. I didn't abandon you. "

" You never came back for me" he sobbed. I was dying. It hurt me to see him like this.

" Please listen to me honey I came back for you. At least I wanted to. But the day that I was coming back my plane crashed and I was in the hospital. I didn't wake up for 4 years. I was in a coma. I couldn't wake up. As much as I wanted to baby I couldn't. I wish I could have been there for you! To see you grow into this handsome young boy you've become. I love you honey and there is nothing that would stop me from loving you. I understand if you don't want to forgive me just yet. You can take all the time that you need oka- " I was interrupted when I felt little hands circle my waist.

Blake sobbed as he hugged me. I wrapped my arms around his little body as tears fell down.

" I missed you mommy. " I cried as his sobs got louder.

" I missed you too my little bunny! " I tightened my grip afraid that this was all a dream and he would disappear.

" Please don't leave me again mommy !" He shook his little head as he tightened his grip around me afraid that I would let him go.

" Never " I whipped his little eyes and kissed his head.

" I love you baby I'm sorry for not being there for you when you needed me"

" I love you too mom " he pulled out his sleeve and whipped my tears. I laughed and hugged him again happy that I got my son back.