In the gourd patch there was a young pompkin called Renault Megane and her best friend - a cum quat- Neiner Levan. Renault, the fiesty little hemorrhage, kicked Neiner into the compost heap. Rotting, and smelling of shit - neiner said
"Bitch why? Im HURT"
"Sugg my digg :-D" - renault retorted
"This is why I only bought you four teeth instead of 5 for your birthday" - Neiner replied with a slight sting in her tone. They resolved their differences and decided to get onto the plot line - where in the Nigerian hell are they? Being gourds - they couldn't move - so they lay in the blazing hot sun. Waiting for their situation to ameliorate, the sun seared the outer layers of protective skin from the two lonely gourds and began to boil the juicy flesh that waisted away below. Almost out of nowhere, Josh Hutcherson appeared. Suspending their disbelief as the clouds formed the words "ham-fisted deus ex machina but you're all dealing with it because I'm writing about fucking gourds escaping an island". He took one looked at the decrepit gourds and gagged. He was looking for a way off this Sharia law abiding island - for he is bisexual and would surely be executed. He decided to enlist he help of poor Renault and Neiner, he asked them if they could help. They did not reply. For they are gourds.
Josh Hutcherson picked up the Gourds and began to ponder just how he was on this island and how to get off :-).
He had one of 2 thoughts - die here, with the Gourd Women, or escape. He had to get back to Jennifer Lawrence as they were now married and pregnant with two halves of the demon Lucifer.
That was his incentive.
The island consisted of a dense jungle - teeming with life - and an abrupt end to the jungle with a magnificent facade of delicate white sand stretching, un broken, around the perimeter of the island. The crystal blue water, whilst fantastically beautiful, was infested with Gourd Women eating piranha.
Josh decided to find some medicine for the Gourds as they were slowly rotting in the blistering heat.
