Luke Jackson: My Story

Lost

Luke's POV

Thirty-one days, two weeks and ten hours, that's how long I've been separated from my best friend, that's how long I've been broken. I spend every free moment of my day locked away in my room, after school, on the weekends. Sometimes, Marcus and Troy would get me out but I was a mess. I'll admit that too, I knew I wasn't a pleasant person to be around but I couldn't snap myself out of it.

I drowned myself in work over the last month and a half while everyone at school was buzzing about prom. Last year was fun, it was fun because of her. The memories of last year that once seemed pleasant and amazing were now a constant mockery of my existence. Everything made me think about her. Even the window in my bedroom reminded me constantly about how close she was to me, and yet, how far away from me she was at the same time.

She'd left her jean jacket here one time when we were studying, I'd never returned it, at the time I would smile and hold it, thinking about her and the way she smiled and laughed. The jacket smelled like her, the hint of her signature rosemary mint fragrance. However, the scent that once tickled my nose and lifted my spirits was fading to darkness in my memory and faded from the jacket. I shoved all the pictures of us, either together or with our friends, deep into my closet, out of sight but always on my mind.

School was worse though. She and I had AP Calculus together, we'd both chosen eagerly to sit next to each other on the first day of school. Now her back was turned to me, her head was always down taking notes or doing homework, she'd never say one word to me. There was nothing more than a shake or nod of her head, or a sigh from her throat.

A month ago those sighs were adorable, everything about her was. Now all I did was think about her, think about how badly I'd messed up. In the halls she'd give me a menacing look or walk by like I didn't exist. She was hardly ever at lunch anymore, Ruth told me that she was always in the library or she was helping a teacher.

Our friend group had changed too, like a wave of depression and lack of excitement that once filled us had disappeared. Marcus wasn't upbeat like he's always been, Ruth and Troy talk but it's not at all like they once were. I wasn't acting like myself, I haven't acted that way for over a month. My test score average was at an all time low of a ninety percent, hers was at a ninety-two, the lowest I've ever seen it. A part of me hoped she missed me and not as her boyfriend. Right now I could care less if that's what she missed me for. I just wanted her back, I want my best friend back.

---

"Luke, you've gotta get over this, it's been over a month, there are other girls." Marcus tried to enlighten me on our walk to the parking lot, prom was tomorrow but I wasn't planning on going.

"Marcus, I know I'm being pathetic, I tell myself that everyday and I can see it. But I just can't stop, it's like I'm a completely different person without her. Like my whole personality was shaped because of her." I answered glumly.

"Luke, we know, all of us do. But you can't just mourn over Lauren for the rest of your life. What happened between you two has taken its toll on all of us." Ruth scolded.

"She's right Luke. You need to get out and try other girls, come to prom with us. Marcus is going with Mara, Ruthie and I are going. It'll be fun, come on." Troy encouraged.

"Sorry guys but I'm not feeling it. I'll be the fifth wheel and you guys say you'll include me. But we all know that as soon as that first dance plays you'll all be off with your dates for the rest of the night. Don't try and deny it." I sighed, I knew the truth. I didn't want to make myself feel anymore uncomfortable around my friends and peers at prom watching them dance and enjoy a fun night when I felt miserable.