Broken (Brown Eyed Boy book 2)

Not Up to Me (Carlos POV)

I was never really a pessimistic person. No matter how bad things seemed to get, I always held out fate that it would get better. Jessie’s life was a perfect example of this. No matter how much bad happened to her, no matter how much she wanted to just give in and never have hope again, I wouldn’t let her. And in the end, all of my optimism worked and her life took a turn for the better. She always says it’s because of me, but I know its not. As far as I was concerned it was only a matter of time before things became good for her.

After almost a year, we both kind of lulled ourselves into such a positive state of mind that we never saw any of it coming. I especially didn’t see it and that will always haunt me. I should have been on the look out for something out of place. Should have known what the problem was from the second it surfaced. Should have protected Jessie no matter what the cost. But I didn’t.

I was slow; always three steps behind. And because of that, everything important to me seemed to drift out of my reach; starting with Jessie. And it pained me; pained me more than I could’ve imagined. From the second she started drifting away from me, the optimism seemed to go with it. There was only the slightest hope that she would come back. The rest was pessimism at myself for letting her go in the first place. But when it came down to it, there wasn’t really anything I could do because it was all up to her.