If you ever want to be in love - a James Bay love story

Chapter 5. Hear Your Heart

The door opened and i quickly wiped my tears away. Unfortunately this did not go unnoticed by James. He made his way over to me and sat down on the bed next to me.

"Don't bottle things up, love, you need to let it out. With every thing that has happened in the past, you have every right to scream or cry. Your friend told me everything."

And that's when i start to let things go

"I just don't understand why they've been treating me like they did and on top of that i almost got bloody raped. I didn't do anything wrong! Why me?" I couldn't hold it in anymore, so i started to cry my heart out, not caring if i showed weakness.

Carefully, as not to hurt me, James took me in his arms and held me close to his chest. "That's it, darling, let it out, i've got you." He whispered in my ear.

"I'm sorry, i'm so bloody weak." I said feeling irritated with myself.

"No, no, no, don't apologize. You are not weak. Listen to me. You are by far the most strongest person i have ever met. At times like these it can be too much to handle and you just need to let it out. That's okay. You have never been able to pour out your emotions to someone." I nodded.

"Not even your best friend?" He asked. "No, and i don't know why. I mean, i can tell her anything but to cry in front of her? That's something i could never do. I didn't want her to get worried and sucked into my drama. Now i dragged you both into it."

"Valerie, listen to me. It's NOT your fault." He said, gently cubbing my face and wiping away some tears with his thumbs.

"If it wasn't for your god forsaken 'family' you wouldn't be in this mess. They are the one to blame. Not you." He wrapped his arms around me again protectively.

"No one will ever hurt you again, i promise you that." He kissed my cheek and i blushed. I rested my head on his chest. "So tired." I mumbled."

At that moment a doctor came in and told me that i was allowed to sleep. I felt relieved as i felt myself slowly drift off.

I looked up at James' face. "Please stay?"

"Off course, love." He chuckled as he let go of me and quickly got into the covers and laid beside me. I smiled and rested my head again on his chest.

"Go the sleep, darling" he whispered and i finally felt in a blissful sleep.

*dream

I was walking alone down the street since my loving parents refused to pick me up from school.  I put in my headphones and started listening to some music. I softly sang along until I suddenly felt as if someone was following me. I looked around but saw nobody. I shrugged and kept walking. Must be my imagination, i thought.

That's when i felt a pair of hands grabbing my waist and turning me around. He pushed me against the wall and grinded his body against me. I felt his hardened d*ck on my thigh. I tried to push him away but he only chuckled.

"Suck it up, baby. When i want my way, i will get my way. Fun for me, unfortunately not so fun for you."

He undressed me first, then he undid his own jeans and pulled down his trousers and boxers. He roughly pushed inside me and i screamed. "Ahh, it's been so long since i've fucked a virgin. So.. fucking... tight.." he groaned as he began to move faster. Tears streaming down my face.

I suddenly heard my mothers voice shrieking. "I knew it! You are a good for nothing, lazy, worthless, disgusting whore!"  Chelsea stood beside her. "Please, help me!"  She just laughed and walked away.  The rapist finished and pulled his boxers and trousers back on. 

"Now, to make sure you won't go off running to the police.." he got out a knife and when i was about to scream, he stabbed it forcefully in my heart.

I was woken by a voice calling out to me. "Shh, Valerie, it's alright, sweetheart. Please wake up, you're safe." I opened my eyes to see a concerned looking James holding me tightly. "Are you alright?" 

I shook my head. "No." And i started to cry. Again.  He tightened his arms around me.

"Hey, hey, hey, shh darling, you're okay, I've got you, shh." He rubbed circles on my back and whispered sweet nothings in my ear.

"You okay?" He asked once i calmed down. "Yeah. Thank you for putting up with me by the way."

James looked at me feigning a stern look.
"Oi, none of that! I'm not just "putting up with you" I genuinely care about you. That's why i'm here.
And i know we've met only very recently but i kind of feel some sort of connection to you, if that makes any sense."

I smiled. "I know what you mean. I've felt that the first second i listened to your music." He smiled at me.

"That means a lot to me. Thank you."  He said and started to stroke my hair, intentionally to make me feel sleepy. Which worked. But i didn't want to sleep so i tried to keep my eyes open.

"You should try to sleep, love.  You've had a rough day." James whispered. I shook my head stubbornly. "I don't want to face nightmares again." 

"I won't leave you, i promise. So please, get some sleep." He asked.  And i gave in. I rested my head on his chest again and closed my eyes. His arms wrapped around my waist, my back against his chest so we were in a spooning position. It was quite comfortable.

I felt James pressing a kiss on my cheek. "Goodnight, Val." My heart meltedn when he used Jesy's nickname for me. 

"G'night, James." I replied.