.

"i can't. i just, i'm sorry. i can't."

"...but, why?"

tears were ready to roll down his cheeks. he lost his smile and his bottom lip was quivering. i felt horrible, so i did the only thing i know how to do.

i run away. i sprint down the hallway and into the bathroom that's the furthest away. it's a unisex bathroom, so hopefully no one will suspect that i'm in here.

i find the stall that is on the opposite side of the room. perfect. i sit down on the toilet and i look at the wall to my left. i run my hand up and down the carvings i've previously made. "if only, if only" "i love him" "I wish"

i had the chance to turn my daydreams into realities, but i fucked it, like always. i ruin everything.

i let my thoughts take control. i break down crying as i fall to the floor. it's been too long.

his face explained it all. he doesn't really like me. i made a huge mistake. he'll hate me. i'm a failure. i don't deserve to be here. everyone is disappointed in me. maybe my "friends" are right, i should just die.

i pull out the small razor i keep in my pocket. one slit, two slit, three slit, four, on my arm there should be more. five slit, six slit, seven slit, eight slit, i deserve this, so why should i quit?

i convince myself that i shouldn't stop. i deserve all of this pain, every, single, cut. i push harder the farther down my arm i get. my breathing starts to hitch as my feelings fade away. this is good. this is great. if i can't feel, everything will be okay. the world will be better off without me in it.

all i remember is a lot of blood, and tears while everything fades to black.