The Sunshine's Shadow

Sunshine's Shadow

Again, sorry in advance. This is gonna be really corny and fluffy, but I hope you like it anyways!!
Happy Reading!

J-Hope was the sunshine and hope of BTS and ARMY alike, so he couldn't have anxiety... right? No way the ball of happiness and noises (that are sometimes suspiciously inhuman) could ever be depressed or unhappy. Right?

Wrong.

The young dancer was tired of being seen as only the happy ball of sunshine, done with all the concerned comments if he forgot to keep that forced smile on his face for the whole damn one hour interview, and sick of all the hate he received when he let his little act slip for just a second, let the sun make room for the shadow to play after being hidden for so long.

He was just so tired of all the assumptions, the hate, the expectations, and more hate when he let reality show, he hated--

"Hobie?"

The dancer sat up quickly, startled out of his thoughts by the voice, that he now knew belonged to Suga, in the doorway. He hadn't even heard the rapper open the door.

"Yes hyung? What's up?" Hobie's attempt to sound casual was useless when he saw Suga's eyes narrow just the slightest.

"You were muttering. You only do that when something's wrong. Not to mention you're also crying." He couldn't help but reach up and feel for himself at the older's words, and indeed found the area around his eyes wet. Was he seriously in such deep thought that he hadn't realized he started crying? J-Hope could have cursed, but thought better of it while Suga was in the room.

"Hobie, talk to me." Yoongi said as he shut the door before moving to sit next to the boy on the bed.

Honestly he was considering it. But what would that accomplish? He would still have to deal with all the fan's unneeded concern, hate, assumptions, the anxiety, depression, trying to keep everything hidden--

"Enough."

The word was simple, short, and held no anger or warning to it, but still managed to pull the boy's focus away from his thoughts.

"Sorry hyung."

"Nothing to be sorry for. Wanna tell me what has you so anxious?" The word made Hobie stiffen, his back ridged and his eyes wide. Suga took notice immediately and he knew. Hoseok knew he knew.

"Hyung, I-"

"You have anxiety disorder don't you?" Hobie didn't trust his voice enough to verbally answer, so he just nodded his head. He should have known that the older would find out seeing as the rapper had dealt with anxiety and self hate as well.

"Hobie, how long have you kept this a secret?" The concern was obvious to Hoseok, too obvious. It made him feel guilty.

"Since about six months after debut." He said shakily, though his voice was a lot more even than he thought it was going to be. "I knew you dealt with it, Jungkookie had his own kind of anxiety to deal with, Namjoon is leader, Jimin was having issues with his body image, and--"

"Slow down," Suga said calmly but firmly, successfully cutting off his thoughts from going too far again, "where in all that did you hear any of us say that we didn't have the time or the energy to help you with your anxiety?"

"I just thought that--"

"No, that isn't an answer." The older said, voice redirecting Hobie to the present. "When did you actually hear any of us tell you we were too busy with our own stuff to help you with yours?"

"N-Never, but--"

"No buts. We never said that and never would have if you had come to us. The maknae line would have made it their mission to make you feel happy and loved every chance they got, Jin would have loved to teach you how to cook as a way to relax and distract yourself, Namjoon would have had you help him in the studio or ask you to help him with his dancing, lord knows he needs it." Hobie chuckled at that.