You sat on the couch with Tyler as you comforted him. He was having one of his nights where he full-on hates himself.
The first time you found out about this, you were up late at night and heard sniffling from downstairs. You were shocked to say the least when you saw it was the strongest man you knew. You had carefully approached him, but once you saw his cheeks were stained with tears, you sat down beside him and held him until he was okay again.
"Do you ever have a feeling that no one will ever love you?" Tyler asked with a cracking voice.
You looked down at his curly locks as his head was resting on your chest. You combed your fingers through his hair as an act of comforting.
"Yes," you finally breathed out, "But Tyler, there's someone out there for you."
"I'm 28! Why haven't I met her yet?" he cried out as more tears escaped his eyes.
"Maybe you have," you said and looked up at the ceiling, "Real love doesn't meet you at your best. It meets you in your mess."
Sniffles were heard from Tyler as he grabbed your arm that was lazily hanging on his back and brought it around his neck.
"It's difficult liking someone," you rambled on, "because sometimes, you don't know if they have feelings for you or not. They'd send you all of these mixed signals that'll eventually just confuse the hell out of you. You're sitting there just trying to figure them out. Then you have all these things you're yearning to tell them, including how you really feel, but you don't know how to put them into words. I hate liking someone, because once you're attached, it's as if your whole life revolves around them."
Tyler looked up at your face, but you didn't notice because you were still staring at the ceiling.
"Sometimes you meet a person and you just click. You're comfortable with them, like you've known them your whole life, and you don't have to pretend to be anyone or anything," you continued.
You dropped your head but avoided Tyler's gaze. You moved your face to the side and glued your eyes to Tyler's glasses that were sitting on the coffee table beside you both. There was a long silence before you spoke again.
"I wonder what it's like to have someone fall for you. And I mean really fall for you. Be consumed with every little piece of you. The way you talk, the way you laugh, the way you just exist."
You continued to run your fingers through Tyler's curly locks. You looked down into Tyler's ocean eyes. You sighed before speaking again.
"I'd like to tell you that things will get better tomorrow, but I've been through so many tomorrows and nothing has changed. Tyler," you paused to sigh again, "I hate that you don't think you're as beautiful as you are. 'Cause you're so beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful."
You knew your rambling was all over the place. You jumped from subject to subject. But in all honesty, you didn't care. Tonight you were very much in your feels and let everything spill. You noticed a few more tears leak from Tyler's eyes and moved your hand down to wipe them off gently.
"What do you mean?" Tyler asked and took your hand in his.
You swallowed down tears of your own to answer his question.
"I have found that I have utterly and completely fallen like a fool for you. Your name spills out of my mouth like I'm sick with the flu. I caught it so hard from that smile you try to hide. Some days I don't want to live another hour, but I'd live a million years with you. I want you. Just you. I'm hopelessly in love with you and that makes me hopelessly sad," you paused your speech to let out a small laugh as tears fled your eyes, "Remember when you asked me why all of a sudden I went to bed early every single night? And I said it was nothing. But I couldn't tell you that sleep was my escape. That it was because it was only in my dreams you would kiss me."
Tyler sat up causing your hands to fall onto your lap. You pulled your knees to your chest and waited for the rejection. But it never came. Instead, Tyler wrapped his arms around you and placed a kiss to the top of your head. You sat silent and stunned as he held you close to him.
"I can't stop thinking about you and all the things you say. I swear you're always on my mind," Tyler said, surprising you even more since he hadn't spoken more than a sentence at a time. "I can lose fucking everything. But not you. Oh god, not you," he continued, "I've spent hours contemplating the words to say to you but no combination of twenty six different letters could ever accurately capture even a sliver of what this feeling is. You comfort me at my worst times, like tonight. I was so undeserving. And yet, you were so relentless. I wept- you embraced. I faltered- you shushed. I stopped- you smiled. I was a disaster- the worst of its kind. And yet, you still had the audacity to let me know that I was beautiful. At the end of the day, you love me for who I really am. And through it all, you always fight to help me remember who I've always been."
You shimmied your arms out from under his torso and wrapped them around him. You cried into his shoulder, happy that he returned the feelings. You suddenly laughed and pulled back from him.
"Maybe making out for a few minutes would help us figure things out," you said and looked up into his eyes.
He smiled- a genuine smile- and leaned down to your lips. You pushed your head forward a bit and connected your lips.
