Light

flickered

Is this a real story or something from someone's imagination. personally, I don't know, how do I not know and I'm the one who's writing it, you ask? that's because I'm sure that it happened yet not sure if it was real. it happened a long time ago in a place where time has no relevance. in an infinite space that had nothing in it, but there was a someone. it might not be appropriate to call that a someone because it wasn't, not until it gained or was gifted? a self but that can't be an it either since it became a someone after all, but doesn't that mean it transitioned into a person and a transition is relevant to time which had no relevance in this story. well, that just means that was an it and a she simultaneously, a she !! you say. yes, i chose to call it that, don't rush me with questions I plead you although the part of the story I answer why I did call it a she is not really that far.

she existed in that dark large empty space and could see but never saw anything except her self because she was luminous not to the level of a shining star but rather like a candle left burning in the dark having no one to get guided by it, waiting for itself to be extinguished getting dim since it had no purpose but she didn't feel solitude for the reason that she never knew what company is. she didn't feel anger nor fear or sadness all those were emotions out of her grasp all she felt was a wonder for one simple thing. why did she exist if her purpous was to just "be" she needed a reason before her light goes off but she didn't know that that wonder was fueling that dim light of hers, and every time she would blend into that darkness, questioning her existence wouldn't let her dampen. you might see it as torture, for her it was a bliss that she wouldn't disappear unanswered so with every time her light coming back it came a little bit more lustrous from the little happiness or should i say relief she would get, back and forth from dim to dark again! and again! and again!........

until she could see more than herself she saw that there were surroundings and she realized that the darkness is just a cover for the unknown and that was the first time she felt 'fear'  which embraced her. so without a second thought, she grabbed and covered as much as she can of her light leaving just enough to see her self, then closed her eyes and threw it as far she could but it would come back to her revealing more on it's way back scaring her more and more.
she did that repeatedly throwing harder with each try but it was no use.
the only thing she could find herself doing in that situation was holding it between her hands and closing on it not letting a single ray of light coming out and keep watching her hands in an alert.
at last, it felt  just a little bit peaceful, but that was only for a little while.

a squeaking sound came out of between her palms it wasn't just a simple strange bulk of light after all.