She needed to be immune from that gut-wrenching, heart-breaking feeling. She didn't know how to deal with it, she was pure of heart for the most part and had her first kiss only a year ago, now she had still yet to experience all the things her friends viewed as normal, how could a girl so far behind, so uncomfortable in her own skin ever dream of catching up,
Friends, or so she thought, she told one, nothing, but when she told another, one she thought was worthy of trust, 1,2,3 friends asking, "do you like him?", Was trust nothing?, was breaking it nothing to be ashamed of?, are they ever worthy of your trust again?
Thoughts racing through her mind, why?, never again? Who? And When? The scariest thought of all, When would they tell him? Would he hate me?, Would he feel the same? Convinced he wouldn't, she accidentally set herself in to destructive mode, unable to stop, she sat at her desk, applied her makeup like never before, stronger than she had ever been in her years, got out an amazing dress that made her feel like a Queen, and look like the prettiest human around.
20 minutes later she was at the nearest party, downing shot after shot, drunk but still sober enough to know who she was, enough to numb her soul, but not her heart. Dancing, or jumping to the blood pumping music almost loud enough to deafen but not quite, with people she had never seen in her entire life, Finding the nearest guy, not a care for who he was, pulling him to her and kissing him as if she had kissed a million guys before in her life, unaware and uncaring, she danced with him for what felt like hours, glancing away she found herself looking at one of the guys who were friends with her "friends", recognizing him and two others, she hugged him and one of the others, not knowing the other enough to give him a hug even in her drunken state, she smiled and waved at him, pulling them towards her new friends, she greeted her dance partner with a passionately empty kiss, turning round to introduce them, she came face-to-face with the guy she was trying so hard to avoid, in her head and in the flesh, he walked away, clearly conflicted..
All she could do was stand and watch, until she couldn't bare to watch his non-existent shadow disappear anymore, turning away, heading for the kitchen to refill the void with more alcohol than she knew she could ever handle, fed up with the size of the shots, she grabbed a bottle, almost full, and headed up the winding staircase trying to find an empty room, it was like searching for a needle in a haystack, finding another staircase she felt her feet ascend up them without the consent of her brain, finally, after what felt like forever, she found a vacant room, crossing to the other-side of the bed, sliding down to sit on the ground, downing the clear liquid, straight from the bottle, watching as the stars slowly passed along the sky.
Startled by the door bursting open, she found herself staring at the reason for this, only he was staring straight into the eyes of a beautiful, fair, skinny, blonde girl. The opposite of her, feeling a fire of rage and jealousy rise up in her, she quickly turned to face the window watching the stars again as tears rolled down her face, she felt herself drunkenly slur something along the lines of "occupado mates" breaking his session with the leggy blonde, she heard the door slam, not bothering to turn, finding him slip right down beside her, he looked her straight in the eyes and apologized, for being....him,
Hating herself for doing this, turned to face him tears still running freely down the path along her face, she immediately connected them, filled with all the emotion she was lacking, coming up for air, both struggled to believe what had just happened, he immediately leaned back in not wanting to lose the moment, not wanting to lose her.
Still trying to figure out what it was that brought him to her, but in that not caring, it was what both of them had thought about from the moment they laid eyes on each other, but neither of them knew it was both what they needed, and secretly wanted.
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This book is basically Ten short stories all around 1000 words, beginning with the phrase she needed to. I wanted to write this because I struggle to stay focused on my books and I never end up finishing them. I want this to be something that throw out ideas and finish them. At least to a certain degree. If you find any typos or if anything isn't right, don't hesitate to point them out in a nice way. I want to be able to improve my writing with this book so i welcome any constructive criticism, just send it to me in a message.
Thank you!
Caoimhe
