Just in case you didn't know

I love you

The atmosphere was cold and humid.

I saw him sitting in the garden, attractive as usual.

I approached him slowly. Everything was so beautiful, so perfect... the sky, the moon, the stars, him.

- What are you doing? - I sat down beside him - I thought you were home already.

He turned his head toward me, and then I could see his eyes. Two big stars staring at me and pink lips smiling at me. How beautiful.

- I just wanted to see you - and he ran his hand through my hair.

Chills. I thought I'd answer him, but my mouth could only let out a sigh and smile at him..

- Sehun... -He said.

- Yes? - I couldn't help fooling around with some rocks I had nearby.

- We had a good time today, didn't we? In fact, we've always had a great time together - he looked up at the sky and for a moment I was afraid that his eyes would be confused with the stars - do you remember all the times we've spent together?

- Yes - I replied looking at the lawn - they've always been a lot of fun.

- I love all those memories so much... Whenever I have a bad day, I reproduce them in my mind over and over again, and then I feel better. Does it happen to you? I think it's a very nice thing that simple memories can fix you up in a moment like this.

I let out a buzzer for confirmation.

I looked at it. The moon bathed his whole body, his face was silvery. I smiled.

- Do you remember our first holidays in Thailand?-  he laughed softly - you were so worried about the language and insects.

- I remember you were just as worried! - I laughed while he was pinching my cheek.

I pushed him aside gently. I could feel his mind go a hundred times an hour. I immediately saw how his mind kept searching for those short and beautiful moments they had spent together, and his eyes reflected that search. Two bright, playful pupils who were not quiet.

- I love you Sehun, I love you very much and I hope you will never forget it.

I held his hand as a reflex to those words. It was very cold. With my fingertips, I caressed him in the palm of my hand.

* What are you saying?* I thought.

- Sehun, can you do me a favor? - He put his hand away and approached me.

Sure... - I looked up into his eyes - which one?

He ran his arm behind my back and stroked my waist.

- Never forget our moments together - He ripped out a little yellow flower on the side - never forget me, okay?

- What are you...? - I tried to say something.

- People say that when someone disappears, memories are the only thing that keeps the person alive.

- But... 

- I've loved you very much, Sehun, very much. You have been the only person in my life who has brought enough light to keep me alive even in my worst moments... that's why I will always be grateful to you.

He put the flower in my ear and kissed me. And for a few seconds I got lost in his eyes...

- You're so handsome... - I said.

And with his lips he drew that kind of smile that breaks my heart.

It's been so long since I've seen that stinky, sweet smile.

I stroked his cheek.

- You're too cold - I kissed him again - is something wrong? You want us to go inside?

- Sehun.... I don't want you to be sad or angry. I don't want you to cry or scream. From now on, I want you to live for real, not to be tied to someone as stupid as me - he smiled - live. Live for me. Do it like you always have. Keep singing while you shower or put four sugar cubes in your coffee and make it inedible so that no one drinks your coffee... Keep fighting for all those dreams you confessed to me at night, I will always help you. But most of all, never stop dancing. Dance. Dance and remember our practice evenings, those days when our world was dancing and being with each other. Dance, love, dance and fly with those wings you wear as a child, let no one cut them off.

- Kai... what do you mean...? - My eyes were filled with tears that froze when they touched the outside atmosphere.

- I'm sorry - he smiled again

I grabbed his face with my hands.

- What are you saying?! You fucking scare me, Kai!

- Hunnie... - I saw a tear fall from his eyes... and then another, and another - Hunnie, I'm sorry. It hurts so much... I'm sorry. Forgive me for all the moments that we are going to lose, for all the beaches that we are not going to be able to visit together, for all the coffees that we will not be able to share... I wish everything had gone well, I wish... that was my big dream.

- No... no, no, no, no - I hugged him at the waist.

I noticed how my tears wet his coat.

- Hunnie, my love... my little one, thank you for giving me the best moments, for having smiled with me, for having cried with me, for having laughed, played, shouted,... thank you for having loved me as you have done, and with me. I'm not sad, you know why I'm not? - I could feel his tears itching against my head - for, as I had desired, I have ended my life with you.

I couldn't breathe, no way. I was just shaking and crying.

- Sehun - he stroked my head - in case you didn't know... I LOVE YOU.

and he disappeared.

_you have a new message_

< Sehun?.... It's me, Chanyeol. I' m... I'm calling you because... Kai... he's had an accident. Sehun, I'm so sorry.... He....>

_end of message_