1-Blurred Reality

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Chapter-1

Alec:

Things are starting to get blurry I am losing focus like a lens of a camera not knowing where to magnify. What is important and what is merely background.

I tossed and turned in bed till the only memory I had left was a hazy but best image of her, Iris, with her blonde hair and angelic smile.

"How long are you gonna stay in bed?" Nyla enquired, a hand on her hip. She had opened the door brightening my dim lit room. Her yellow eyes shone as her brown skin glistened. "I really don't get your I-have-to-be-miserable-to-write thing." She stated, putting the words in quotations with her fingers.

"I don't believe in anything like that." I mumbled.

"Alec." She groaned. "SO you lost a few chapters of your story. I understand, how you feel... But you can just write something new. Who knows maybe it will be better?" She said shrugging. She couldn't possibly know how I felt or even why I was feeling this way.

Her soothing attempts didn't feel genuine enough. I sighed in response.

"You know what?" She declared raising a hand in the air. "Let's go out. I have to get the grocery anyway." Before I could protest, she switched on the lights. "Get the fuck up. It's not up for debate." She commanded. There was no use protesting now. I could use the energy to go rather than waste it and go anyway.

I'd known Nyla practically my entire life. We dated for a time but it didn't work out. We parted ways and somehow after a few years ended up sharing an apartment and becoming best friends again. I still wanna fuck her, don't get me wrong but there's always less complicating girls around.

***

I dragged my feet and slouch around in the supermarket. Sighing every few minutes. I rubbed my overgrown stubble which was starting to look like a beard now. "If you think you look nice, you don't." Nyla commented watching me carefully. Her dark curly hair were in a pony. I loved her hair open. She knew that. But we aren't dating anymore, so I guess it doesn't matter what I like. "You look old and honestly homeless. Not even aww homeless. Run run homeless. Types." She said, her eyes wide when she said run run. I laughed a little.

"Run run?" I asked, folding my hands against my chest.

"Yeah. Like how sometimes our mind tells us to run, when there's a creepy homeless dude in sight." She said shrugging as if it was the stupidest thing to ask. I chuckled.

"Not everyone is a scaredy cat like you." I said making her roll her eyes.

***

Going back home, I felt a little scared to go back into my room. I don't know what I was so afraid of. I switched on all the lights in my room. It was a mess. The bed unmade. Papers crumbled on the floor. The problem wasn't the fact that I lost a few chapters. And I wasn't trying to be miserable to write better, I mean, honestly I think I wrote best when I was in pain. Miserable. But that's not the problem, right now.

The problem was I was stuck. I couldn't write. I couldn't think. Somehow, I was just entirely empty. And all I am is a writer. Without writing who was I? Who am I?

And all this was Iris's fault. Her images, her thoughts, her feelings were so overwhelming and honestly, they were making me downright depressed and just angry over things that never really mattered to me before. And I was never the kind of person to get jealous but I was now.

It was all making me realize, all the beautiful things I lacked in my so called perfect life including her.

I turned towards my wall to ceiling mirror, facing myself with water in my eyes. And my eyes widened when I saw her in the mirror, looking at me. Long blonde hair with grey eyes and full pink lips. She was beautiful. Her image was blurred with the water in my eyes. I blinked them away and smiled when I saw myself instead of her. My obsession with her was growing more each day.

And I don't know what it was about this moment, maybe it was my helplessness but I felt it, an inspiration.

What if, I write about her...? After all wasn't she a figment of my unconscious.


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A/N- Hi, here's the book I am working on since last year. Hope you guys like it. I need feedback. Please, vote and comment. 

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