Letting Go

Chapter 1

Hello, my name is Cartier Lakes. I live in a town called Limbdons. It's a small town that very few know about, and it's miles away from the city. I will be starting my junior year of high school in 4 days. My plan is to do what I usually do, stay quiet and keep to myself. Friends will only bring me down and my family is almost non-existent. My father is barely home and my mother died before I even had the chance to know her. I live in a small apartment that's around 30 minutes away from school and 15 minutes away from the library. My life isn't really interesting, but maybe if I start writing down what happens in my life, even if it's small, I might just have a story to tell one day.

Closing my journal, I got up from the floor and began walking to the kitchen to grab something to drink. Four more days. I opened the refrigerator and grabbed a water bottle, twisting it open I brought the top of the bottle to my lips and took a few sips. It was two o'clock in the afternoon on a Friday and I had nothing planned. There isn't much to do in this town besides go bowling or shooting. Unless you like reading then you could go to the library too.

A few moments passed and I was just standing in the middle of my apartment with an open water bottle doing nothing. I set my water bottle on the table, making sure to close it first, and made my way to the closet that looked almost hidden next to the refrigerator. Before opening the door, I quickly pulled out my phone and put on my 'Sunday Jive' playlist. I placed my phone on top of the counter in the kitchen and let the music play quietly. Opening up the closet I pulled out a broom and started sweeping.

At first, my playlist started out slow and peaceful, then gradually it started to play more upbeat music. As the beat of the music became faster and faster, I started to sway my hips and quietly started to sing along to the lyrics. I swept, mopped, dusted and I picked up and washed whatever I thought was misplaced or dirty. It took a good two or three hours for me to finish. The last song on my playlist was almost over and I still had nothing planned out for today.

Sighing, I put away whatever cleaning supplies I took out and walked into my room. Inside were two tall bookshelves, a vanity with a light up mirror, my queen-sized bed, and body-length light up mirror on top of a fluffy rug. Everything in my room was white, except for my pillows, bed frame, rug, and walls which was a soft grey. The mirrors in my room were covered with a black thin blanket; all the mirrors in the apartment were covered like that.

I walked into my bathroom which is connected to my room and peeled off my clothing. I felt and most likely looked disgusting. Turning on the water, I walked into the shower and closed the glass door behind me. I closed my eyes and let the water hit my face. Thoughts from when I was younger started to cloud my mind and suddenly I started to feel cold under the hot water.

Little kids from my class started chasing me around the playground. Any chance they got, they would pull and yank my hair and clothing. No matter how fast I ran, a little kid ended up catching up to me and shoved me down on the ground. Suddenly the group of kids who were chasing me formed a circle around me and started chanting,
"Cartier, Cartier why don't you just comb your hair!"
"Cartier, Cartier how come you smell like stinky air!"
I remember curling up into a ball and trying to block out the noise by covering my ears with my hands, but the chanting continued and began getting louder. Looking around me, all I saw was kids looking at me with disgust while chanting loudly. I tried to call out for help, but nothing came out. They started to spit and kick me in the stomach, they even stomped on my face. Tears spilled down my cheeks. A teacher started walking towards my direction and all the kids stopped what they were doing. The teacher made its way to me and gave me one hard glare before slapping me across my face. I couldn't make out what she was saying because all I could hear was this loud ringing in my ears. From there, the last thing I remember is the teacher grabbing a fist full of my hair and dragging me to the principal's office while the kids in my classes laughed at what happened.

Instantly, I opened my eyes and shut off the water. Tears threatened to escape my eyes, but I held them back trying to remind myself that this happened long ago. I shouldn't let myself go like that.

I stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel from under the sink and wrapped myself around in it. Picking up the dirty clothes on the floor, I walked out of the bathroom and into my room going immediately to my walk-in closet. I dropped my clothes into my laundry basket and threw on a baggy black shirt, underwear, and grey sweatpants. After, I walked out of my closet and went back to my room and got in bed. It was little early to be sleeping, but as soon as my head were against the pillows, I instantly fell asleep. There were four more days, and then after that, there will be 185 more to try and get by with.