Complicated Lives

Authors Note: Unsure whether or not I want to continue this, will see how responses go, so if you like it please comment, follow, like etc :) 

Looking at him makes me feel giddy, nerves make my body tingle, my mouth goes dry and my thoughts drift causing me to speak nonsense. He doesn't even know it. With his stupid face and cheeky remarks, he has no idea the feelings it causes in my head, I'm Alice falling down the rabbit hole and he's the white rabbit luring me there. Time is running out in a deluded world of Cheshire Cats and croquet.

My shoes weren't designed for so much walking; black leather boots, soft and worn, sole half intact. I wish I understood my own mind, maybe then I wouldn't be traipsing after him like a lost puppy, but then again, maybe I would be running after him and maybe worn better shoes - either way this was a long walk to no where. I let my hands sway beside me, making sure to catch his pace, letting our hands glide close enough for the electricity to spark between us...not that he noticed...I'd comment on the walk and his silly fast pace, the endless rows of houses, concrete paths forking off like lightning, the lack of sun or even on other school children walking past, his response was a simple shrug or smile and he'd continue on his way; the lost soul that I am following behind. You know that feeling when you're about to fall asleep and all of a sudden you feel like you're falling, the world blacks out around you, your hot palms clutch onto anything in the darkness begging for someone to catch you, your stomach sinks and a sickly heat rises in your throat; you bolt up right bewildered to what just happened, unable to breathe, chocking, gasping, crying. My life with this boy is summarised by that notion, the beautiful lull before the lurching feeling that follows.

It wasn't that simple, however, I was going round his for homework help, that meant three whole hours alone with him focussing on science - I was intently staring at his face when I realised I hadn't even noticed which turns we'd taken so I didn't even know how to get home - I began to just scrape my soles along the ground, eyes flitting around at the greying sky, amber leaves hung limply on dull dry trees lining the path we currently found ourselves on, a calm silence in the air along with an occasional engine and a few birds oh and m--

"Can you stop dragging your feet?" he questioned me breaking my thought, it was only the second time he had spoken to me on the entire way to his. I looked at him dumbstruck, jaw hung with confusion in my expression before I made a small squeaky noise in agreement. In embarrassment I tugged the sleeves of my baggy jumper over my small pale hands, the fading aged blue wool contrasting against my skin, attempting to cover the red flush that stuck to my skin like a rash. I looked tired. He looked at me briefly, a flash of curiosity in his eyes, before looking ahead once more and placing his hand into his trouser pocket. I admired him. Staring up at his face, my worn pale blue orbs taking in every mole, mark and memorised it for what felt like hundredth time, I took in his appearance - a smooth white cotton polo shirt folded neatly over the collar of his clean cut black jumper, slick dark jeans and smart black shoes, polished up nicely. I faltered in my step as I looked down on myself, scuffed up leather boots, an oversized deep blue jumper and black skinny jeans with holes worn into the knees over time, my face wasn't look much better either; with pale skin that never tanned and washed out blue eyes that seemed far too bug like and the thing that made everything more awkward was that I had inherited crow like black hair.

It was only when I heard an odd clink I looked up from my greying boots, he was pulling his house keys from his pocket. A bright, newish, silver looking key hung on the twisted metal loop along with a small, slightly more worn, blue fob. I sucked in a deep breath. Looking up I realised, remotely, where we were; rounded large smooth beige stones lay before us, complimented by the dusky sand coloured pebbles surrounding them, a neatly trimmed hedge stood proudly to one side casting a faint shadow, while clipped and curt singular trees guarded the other side of their home...a large house that seemed bold yet understated loomed in front of me, chunky smoothed rocks in varying shades of beige lined themselves under the glass sheet that took up a third of the clean cream walls. He looked at me and smiled, placed a single finger to his lips to silence me, I held my breath and nodded as if I was a small child stealing sweets. My heart rate increased. He placed the key in the lock, and began to turn the key; The metal mechanisms inside, clicked and notched, before the door was free to move. He stepped inside revealing a bright pale wooden floor, I placed my foot over the threshold and paused as he placed a hand behind him to stop me. "Hello?" He yelled into the quiet house. There was no car on the beige stone drive. "I'm home, anyone in?" He looked at me and nodded, before walking upstairs and looking around the rooms.

"No ones home" smiling he walked down the beautiful white carpet stairs. "I know you wanted help with Physics but if you wanted to go over a touch of anything else that's fine too" sat on the bottom step he took his polished shoes, his bag already placed someplace else... How long had I been daydreaming?... I tugged my boots off and placed them by the door along with my grey denim bag, I unzipped it pulling out a green striped notebook with rough, crumpled pages poking out. I looked up to see I was alone, I heard the hiss of a bottle being opened, he poked his head around the archway of the room in front of me.

"Fancy something to drink?" He swayed the nearly empty 2litre bottle of lemonade in his hand.

"I'm okay, thanks" I smiled lightly, shielding my face from his strong gaze.

He shrugged and brought the bottle to his lips and drank the remains, lightly shaking his head after before replacing the cap and putting it on the side. He wiped his mouth. I was leant against the arch, daydreaming, unwittingly staring at his mouth. A hand waved in front of my face.

Jumping, a red hue crept across my cheeks "S-s-sorry" I managed to mutter to the boy smirking in front of me.

"Come on then" he motioned for me to follow, walking through another archway we came into a very spacious living room, complete with a full oak dining table at one end closest to the kitchen. The room consisted of two plump black leather sofa's set up in a 'L' shape around a large purple rug and a grand TV, photos hung with pride on the wall displayed the family as a whole, family trips and day outs, holidays and travels, memories and futures; it added a cosy touch to an otherwise 'show-homey' styled house.

"Right! Where do you want to begin?" I looked up at him smiling, laying out my tattered notebook.