After my encouter with Foster Damien, I was walking away from him.
Scared.
Terrified.
Confused.
These, sums up all the feelings inside me that weren't mine.
The walk to home was clearly difficult. The voices around me didn't stop. Too many of them meddle in my one head, and I was almost clearly forgetting what I was feeling earlier. But somehow, it seems like the world is a bad place as these thoughts of random strangers that I walked passed through were mainly negative.
Negativity thoughts will always be stronger than than the positivity thoughts.
I was crying, then I was laughing and then I was wincing at the pain hitting my chest all the sudden. My heart rate was running too fast for the pace I'm walking home to. And then my whole vision was blured again, and then I was crying feeling the pang that hit my chest for no reason.
All at once, I was laughing again while crying and my mind were busy with the voices I never recognized. I stopped on my tracks letting go of my dead headphones and stared at the ground letting all of the voices get me. I need to faint. I need to faint so they can finally shut their thoughts up. Giggling all the sudden, having my heart ache wanting to cry was getting my head the dizziness I needed.
Hate.
Hate.
Sorrow.
Mourns.
Mourns.
Sorrow.
Alone.
Sorrow.
Happiness.
Faking happiness.
Sorrow.
Happiness.
Happiness.
Mourn.
Hate.
There was a lump forming at the back at my throat with the beating sound of my raging eardrums dying to explode anytime. I held my chest waiting for it to come. Waiting for myself to lose it.
As long as I'm gonna be free.
"Can't breath." I panted and fell on my butt holding my knees close to my chest.
"Can't think." The pounding in my head gets louder as the voices began to scream into my mind entirely deaf to my own voice.
"Can't... C..can't..." I fisted my hair wanting to tear it apart.
I want to tear my head apart so bad.
I was not aware of where I was, but I was surely on the pavement of a busy suburb.
I was gonna lose it.
Just as that was about to happened, I was hauled to my feet and was pressed to someone's hard chest. My ear was perfectly on his calm heartbeat with each beat blocking the voices in my head. I was deaf to the world again. Only this time it was different. All I felt was warm, when my days were usually cold to numb. My breathing pace was back on its usual pace. The strokes I get on my unhooded head was surprisingly...
Calming.
And the feeling was foreign.
And all I heard was the heartbeat.
YOU ARE READING
Insane
Ficção Adolescente"l tried telling myself reasons why I should stay alive, but then a reason of why I wanted to die is stronger than all of them. I was too tired of knowing. Tired of lies I clearly know the truth. Tired of these emotions that's not mine.. And slowly...
