I Wonder If I Care as Much

Chapter One

"I...guess it...doesn't really matter anymore," Angus whispered, casting his eyes a different direction. Images of Sherrie replayed in his mind compelling him to drop any ideas he stored. Images of Travis-though his blood burned at the thought-silenced any confessions. Their hearts were pledged to other people, and the bonds would not break on account of him.

Two arms tightened around his neck, his own wrapping around her waist again. Her hair was toyed about in his fingers, although he was hardly aware of it. A kiss was planted on her head but quickly taken back as the other resident returned outside with a plate of sandwiches and another of...crabs? Angus kept his eyes on him as Hannah lifted her head and turned around. He could feel her smiling at him. "I got lunch here, we can head to the backyard to sit while we eat."

"Thank you, Travis. Come on, Angus," Hannah said removing herself from Angus' lap. Her hands brushed out the wrinkles from her sweater only for one to reach out to him. Slowly he took it, lacing his fingers with hers. She didn't withdraw as they followed Travis around the house to the back, but he couldn't help but notice the flinch when he accepted her offer. Perhaps he had grabbed her too rough. His hold loosened and he was seated in a chair pulled out for him at a long white table under a red umbrella, opened for the occasion. Plates were passed around and the platters as well.

"I hope you like seafood, Angus, I didn't know we were having company today," Travis said, tucking a napkin in his collar. Angus raised an eyebrow at the man across from him. "Cooked it all myself."

"I don't mind it as long as it's good," Angus replied. "I'll try not to aim at you if I spit it out." Hannah glared at his remark while Travis only laughed.

"You're quite a comedian there," he said taking a bite of his sandwich. "Tell me, what do you do for a living?"

Inspecting his sandwich Angus picked up his glass of water Hannah set in front of him. "I'm a musician," he said taking a drink.

"Oh, for a symphony?"

"I'm in a band."

"Marching?"

"Rock an' roll."

"As a teacher or student?"

"Five guys, playin' 'round the world, guitars, drums an' all that with women at our feet-" Angus choked on his words seeing the expression on the young woman's face. It was enough to break anyone's heart. Excusing himself from talking he took a bite of his sandwich. The flavor was new but not completely foreign to him. He lifted the crust with his finger and saw green leaves with a powdery substance on a meat like patty. But the taste was anything but meat.

"Whoo, you sure know how to make a man laugh," Travis said letting out another laugh. He speared his crab like an expert and Angus followed his actions. Taking a perfect bite he set his fork down and wiped his face with his napkin. Angus had vegetables and butter dribbling down his chin, the crab falling apart. Sparing a glance at Hannah he saw her giggling to herself. He smiled hoping she had forgiven him of his clumsy wording. "I admit that doesn't sound like my kind of living, but hey! It's living!"

"It's a real pain in the ass sometimes, but it's better than work, ya' know?" Angus replied wiping his face off and taking another drink. "So tell me...Travis," he smiled showing, baring his teeth. "What do you do?"

"Served in the army a year or two, then moved here thanks to my cousin's demands. You can never get anywhere with that one," he answered shaking his head. "Now I'm a banker at the local bank. Well, duh," he ended with a laugh. Angus smiled, toasting his glass before taking another drink, wondering if he was allowed a cigarette on the property. The rest of his stuffing was scooped out of the crab and eaten plainly, while his sandwich lay nearly untouched. Hannah had finished much quicker than the other two. Angus assumed she must have been ravenous, though he couldn't help but notice her serving was smaller than theirs as well. Much smaller. Her sandwich was cut in half and her crab wasn't brimming. Angus folded his sandwich in his napkin. "It's not nearly as crazy as the drills but it still calls for high protection. Figured that's why they hired me so quick. Hmm. Don't have to worry about money so much, that's always good." Angus watched Hannah, Travis' words growing foggier by the minute. She rested her head on her fist, fiddling with her spoon she hadn't needed. "Almost bought a house down the road bigger than this one, but I like a good modest house. Something too fancy, you end up drawing attention to yourself." Angus' attention was drawn back to the other man, noticing a slight pull in his tone. "I assume as a musician, you have a good place of your own?"