You can say, people are so dramatic. I used to say that too but then when i reached this age of life, I began to realize that, Life is all about Drama.
It's late night, probably a quarter passed 1, I crawled out of my bed and headed to the bathroom with mind full of thoughts and eyes full of tears that about to come out like a waterfall. I shut the door gently and started to cry in the bathroom without light turned on. It feels so good and relieved yet so painful and dead... I don't know how to handle this, everything is mixed up in my mind...I feel lost, what I been through slowly eating me...depression, first I thought it was an illness. Yes it is but it's incurable. It feel like the world is not meant for me or am I just a waste of space ? I tried to speak out to people I trust but keep receiving the " you're just overthinking " responses...I have no idea when I started feeling this way...There are things that sucking my energy like leeches and there's no way people can understand this, there's no way I can get rid of it...
After a while I heard the door cracked open and it was my mom...
Mom : What happens, boy ?
Me : Mom, I think I lost everything...
Mom : You lost what ?
Me : I...I don't know...
Mom : What do you mean you don't know ?
Me : I just feel...empty...
That's all i can recall...
This story is really bad, isn't it ? It's not detailed, depression is not something clear to describe... it's just like a dark, blurry prison and you're the only one there, seeking for exit and helps...
__________________________
This is kind of short but i guess I can't really remember much. After talking to my mom, I feel a lot better.
Thanks to her, I'm still here.
Thank you for reading :)
December, 23, 2017
