Okay so here goes my story....But first I want you guys to know that I have heard and been beaten because of my story. I have been physically abused and I have been verbally abused because I am standing for my cause. I want this to be a safe place for people to get help so please no negative comments because I cant stand for it.
Okay so it all started when I was in 6th grade. I was the nerd of the school literally. I had my harry pottter glasses, I wore the long skirts to my ankles, and I had a middle part with my blonde hair and blue eyes. Then I met a girl name Dacey, she was the popular girl of the school, so we came to an agreement I do her homework she helps me become popular. (Sounds just like a movie am I right??) So I lost the glasses, ditched skirts for shorts, and my middle part became a side part that was curled to perfection everyday. I started to come out of my shell. I would be mean to people, say rude things, push them around and do what I told them to do. Soon my grades began dropping and I made the volleyball team. So I got in trouble more and more and so my parents began to notice (my parents were divorced and my mother soon married another man almost a year later just to fill you guys in on that situation) so they noticed and started to get onto me. Telling me that i have changed and not in a good way.... So I decided to drop Dacey. I started my own "clique" you could say. Soon after that summer came and then 7th grade.
Well Dacey had moved schools over the summer so I become the "all mighty queen bee of 7th grade" I got asked out by the older kids, gone to the big parties, and always told people what to do. Hell my best friend that I have now thought I was the worst bitch in the world and she hated me in middle school because I was such a bitch. So I passed all my classes and moved onto 8th grade. I started to hang out with other girls, I started to care more about my looks than my grades, family, and even my religion. I became so overwhelmed with how I appeared in others eyes that I lost focus on what I really wanted people to see. My true self. I wanted to show people that I am such a badass girl that I am perfect and no one can mess with me. My mom and step-dad got more aggresive with each other, verbally and physically. I would stay up and listen to bang of someone being slammed against the wall or hearing words such as your a worthless piece of shit or I never loved you anyways your a worthless whore. I began to shut down. Not allowing people in, not letting anyone know how I was truly feeling. So I decided to take my anger out on my mother. The woman who gave birth to me, who has cared for me when my real father wouldn't, the woman who would give her life up for me. I decided to curse her, make her feel like shit, say things I dont even want to repeat. I hated her for no reason, and to this day I have no idea why I did.
My older sister Erika had a best friend named Amelia. She was in 10th grade my 8th grade year, and they became inseperable. I was jealous that Amelia was so close to my sister and I wasn't, but Amelia was a sister to me she helped me through a lot of things. My first heartbreak, my prom, and even my first time I got my period. Hell she was my best friend too. Erika was in 12th grade, Amelia in 11th, and I was in 9th grade. August 14, 2012 Amelia was driving home to get her pom-pons for dance practice when she was hit straight on by an impared driver (high off of several pills), Amelia was killed immediately on impact. This man decided to get behind the wheel of a car not his, while not having his license, and just getting out of jail from previous drug charges. That day not only was her families life change, my families, or mine, but everyones. This event had changed my life for the worse, and lead for more things to follow soon after....
HEY GUYS,
okay I am soooo sorry I cant type anymore all of my memories are coming back and its hitting me hard like a ton of bricks!
I promise to finish my story tomorrow or well atleast try.
Thank you guys, and please inbox me if you have anything to ask, comment, or tell me. or just to talk I am always here
GOODNIGHT xoxo
