Tied together with a smile

To some people I am just a part of the nonexistent never ending blur if the background...to others I am just something they can hurt and abuse until I can't get up from the pain...and to the rest I'm just a lonely, depressed, introverted, pessimistic, disgrace of a human being. Now if I look at myself in the mirror all I see is their words on my scared, pale skin. To myself I am and always will be the nobody...the never acknowledged...the under estimated...the give up all hope girl. Now my dad he hates me. He thinks he should've had a son and not an ungrateful little bitch like me. I'm not ungrateful in all honestly I am more than grateful, but I'm never grateful to him. He doesn't deserve that. All he deserves is to rot in hell. I slowly start to feel lighter than air...he won...I start to see the dirty house I wants called home as I slip into nothingness I'm dead and though I hate it I'm gland I no longer with my sucky life...so as I take my final breaths I smirk at my drunk father and speak,"You'll get what you deserve."