It was snowing , and it was cold , the stars shining in the dark sky.
"Stay with me.." was the last word that came out of my mouth.
My tears slowly started flowing down my reddened cheeks from the freezing weather . I don't want to see him leaving, i can't let him go .. he is my heart, my soul, my life ..why ?
I see him going further away , and here , i can't contain my sobs, i burst in crying so hard , screaming his name , i can't endure this pain .
My heart was shattered into billion pieces knowing that i can't see him ever again, i wont be able to hear his laughter or see his smiling happy face .
Jonghyun — my voice cracked and i couldn't speak
He stopped, but without turning back , i saw him suffering, i ran to him , and wrapped my arms around his back so tightly
" 가지마 " i said hugging him tighter if possible
" 미안 " — he turned around and faced me, cupped my face between his warm hands saying ;
" 울지마 " — he wiped my tears away with his soft thumb and said. " 사랑 해 요 " — i kept staring at him as if he would faint in the snow and melt away anytime. "미안.." —
He embraced me in his strong arms and pat my head gently, i hang up on him as if my life depended on him ..
I will never forget this day , this pain of losing my most precious person in the world, the day where my life has been crashed and broken past my eyes , i cant handle my tears .
Today, im emptied of all emotions ,i don't know anymore what's happiness , what is a smile , i only know sadness and pain since the day he left .
I looked up at the gray sky . The same dark sky when he left , i walked up to the bridge and sat down .
"Jonghyun-ah .. " — i said. "난 당신이 그리워 요 " —
A tear fell down .. then another followed .. And i became a crying mess .
I got up and looked down at the river beneath me that is supposed to be frozen now .
He had none to pull him out of his dark side of life.. This depression that was graved deep inside him , none was enlightened that he was suffering.
I turned back and once again looked up at the sky , it's surely the last time that i see it .
I took out my phone from my pocket , 25 missed calls and 10 messages
I sent only one message ,and i turned it off.
I closed my eyes, and let my body fall backward , i felt iced water and then.. Nothing anymore —
