Chapter 1: Skittles

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by DoUbLeZone

by DoUbLeZone

Skittles

(...because the sugary treats remind me of happiness.)

So this is me; DoubleZone, the writer with the big dreams, the young adult with all that hope for the future, that ordinary human being with all that vision and crazy Wattpad followers.

This is me, sitting here writing this for all those people who have felt the way I have, who have endured so much in this world and who need a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

This is me, a person living in a country where homosexuality is practically a crime, where homophobia is praised and everything that goes against it is shot down as immoral. I grew up learning that ‘the lord made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve’ and where the churches preached love but only for those who lived the ‘right’ way.

I grew up in a society where even our very laws seemed to thwart anything that involves the love two men can have for each other and when I was too young to think for myself, I agreed with the masses. I turned up my nose at those who were ‘different’ and scoffed at anyone who supported them, but when I burst free from society’s homophobic haze I finally began to understand that what I had thought of as right had been anything but and it hurt me to know that I had once been a part of the problem and not the solution.

This country is still my home and even now, living in a time where there seems to be progress and forward thinking, my society has not changed, if anything it has grown worse. A year ago a friend of mine was beaten for being gay, beaten by those who we call the ‘educated minds of our world’, abandoned by those he had believed to be his friends and ostracized by others who feared society’s whip. This just goes to show human’s barbaric nature.

It is sad indeed when a man has to hide his heart from the world and it is sad when others watch and nod as if it is right. I did not ‘put pen to paper’ simply to slam my fist against the society I love, I wrote this to show the world what is really happening out there, to show you all that actions have consequences and inaction will get us nowhere.

All around the world, parents are turning away from their offspring, brothers and sisters are screaming hate at their brethren and those who have the power to make a difference turn a blind eye. I sit here typing and I am filled with hurt and disbelief and chances are, so are you. Many of us wake up every morning suffocating under the hate and the injustice of it all, wondering if this will be the day it will get better, or if this will be the day we give up and let them win.

I say stand up and fight for love, if you have no legs lay there and pray for change. I say sit and listen to the stories of those who have been through worse and if you cannot hear, look to the future and envision a life where we can all finally say we are equal, where we no longer need to fear what is in our hearts.

I yearn for the day we can all finally come together as a people; gay, straight, black, white, man, woman and understand that love has no conditions and we all deserve to be happy. This is beginning to sound like a speech and I suppose in a way it is; it is my speech, engraved in my mind for what has felt like my entire life, yet even as I type out my thoughts, I still fail to portray exactly what I am feeling. So let me sum it up for you:

I feel hurt for everyone who has been told to change.

I am disappointed in all those who continue to be ignorant.

I feel anger toward those who try to stifle our will.

I feel love for all who only wish they did not have to live a lie and I have hope that one day we will all be reading about this in history books and thinking how ludicrous it was that anyone was once treated differently for being homosexual.

I have cried for you, I have prayed for you and I have defended you because I understand what you are going through. Whether you support the cause or you are fighting for your own right to live as you choose, I hope you never give up because no matter what comes my way I will NOT give up.

I REFUSE.

-DoubleZone