That morning, I woke up at my room; orange colored light from my night lamp filled the room, the sound of moving cars from the distance, it was just like any regular morning that I had and usually what comes after that is just a boring routine of regular hygiene and going to university and going back after that feeling tired and sluggish. That morning however, I woke up, anticipating the day. Of course, I had to do my boring old Saturday routine first before being able to do anything else. But that morning, I could not wait for what the world can offer. It was going to be spectacular, that was what I thought. I'm doing something I'm looking forward to, finally a not so boring day. I thought of the best possibilities and the perfect outcome. The day was bright and it was as if a bad day could not possibly happen to me. After all, who knew that the worst day of the year is going to hit me, it was after all just an ordinary morning at that time.
What made me feel so happy that morning was that I had planned to watch a movie. "Murder on the Orient Express" to be exact, I was really looking forward to that movie since the moment I saw the trailer, "Murder" what else could be more exciting than that?! (As a movie or a book of course, I'm not saying murdering someone is exciting), what's more, I wanted to watch it alone. Of course you can't say watching it alone is something to be anticipated, it was kind of sad even. However the reason to why I was happy that I'm going to watch alone is that I have never watched a movie, alone. I have always feared of going to the movies alone, but finding time with friends, make plans and watch a movie together is just as hard. After all, everyone is busy in their own little time space. So, I planned on making use of my time space and just go! However, it's not that easy to just go, I was after all scared; I was scared of people viewing me as a sad person that has no friend and had to watch a movie alone, which was a bit true although not fully the truth. What made me made up my mind was that I had done this in the past, I faced off one of my fears and I ended up enjoying it, heck, I'm even preaching about it as well (if you would like to know, it's public speaking), perhaps I might find the experience of watching alone amazing, that was what I thought.
So that morning after I finished my dull morning class, I went to teach a Saturday public speaking class (I used to dread public speaking, look at me now), this class was one of the things that I look forward to, as well. I had a lot of time that I could spend that day, to be honest it was as if time was very kind to me, that day, after suffering me with boring old routines 24/7 finally time has given me a day off or something (or perhaps an apology sent before the calamity).
Class felt very quick that day and I still had a lot of time in my hand before movie starts, so I decided to go to other classes, the class next to mine belonged to the Scrabble division and the tutor was a friend of mine, so I'm sure he doesn't mind if I stay there for a while after all the class finishes, and after that I actually ended up chatting with some tutors, friends of mine that was there at that time. We talk about unimportant stuff, and how excited I was, about to watch a movie alone, a new experience and a time to enjoy with myself, we all need that sometimes, a time with ourselves, where we can just be with our own thoughts, in our own mind, without others' thoughts disrupting our own marvelous thoughts. Time went by and soon enough it was 13.30 and finally, I'm going to go watch the movie, I'm going to face of my fear! (#facingofmyfear) and the beginning of a new fear waits.
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