The Short Stories Of A Broken Girl

Gorgeous Girl

This is a short story about a gorgeous girl, a sweet girl, a mentally ill girl who was only 16. A girl whos life was like walking on a tight  rope, hard to take a step without falling, and nearly impossible to get to the otherside. Her side consisted of depression and misery. The otherside carried happiness and peace with no concerns or worries. She was stuck, and wanted nothing more than the end to come her way. Her mind was constantly fixated on other peoples happiness, how much it mattered to her more than her own and of course, on how  much she oh so badly wanted to rid herself of this world, she envied those who did it. She always felt like every part of her world kept drawing more and more into itself, isolated, alone, quiet, not a single word about it left those beautiful lips of hers. She goes to bed with nothing but her thoughts, not the good ones, the dangerous ones, the ones that would make others flee if they knew about them. The only way for her precious soul to fall asleep was the hope of it all being one horrible dream, that she will wake up and feel happiness and joy, but thats not how it usually goes, right? She wakes up only to feel that same pain im her chest, in her head, in her heart, like a roughly made dagger continuously shredding through her heart and a monster slowly eating away at her soul. She immediately feels a  single tear, that turns into a stream, roll down her face because she is feeling the same pain she has felt for the past eight years of her broken world. Now she wakes up and cant feel anything at all, the pain is still there, the tears are still rolling down those pretty little cheeks of hers, but now its effortlessly, this time there is no frown, just a blank, gorgeous little face. Shes tried everything to help, shes done everything to herself, even destruction. A cutter is what she used to be,leaving a permanent mark.....no, a memory on her skin, day after day, she used to crave it. Her heart was so broken, she had been played with, she had been used and abused by most men shes been with, treated like a treasure, like she was gold, then thrown away when they lost interest.

 But after a while she met a guy, sure enough she was scared, hell shes always on edge, but he made her happy again, thought it would be forever, the way he spoke to her, oh just the way he looked at her made her heart melt, the way he kissed her and held her and oh god the way he kissed her scars made her want to cry right then and there, sadly enough though she fell in love, and he did too, a pretty boy and a dirt poor gorgeous girl. But, tragically, he left her after two months, destroying her, breaking her heart more and more, he was forever on her mind and everytime she even thought of his name, she would break down crying, pools of tears, she fell in love with someone she knew she couldnt have, she missed him oh so very much, she wanted him back more than anything in the world, she knew he would love someone else, for weeks, no,  for months she cried, everytime she tried to sleep she never again wanted to be able to wake up or ever open her eyes again, she barely went to school and wanted to never move from her bed, she felt empy inside, like a hollow shell of a human that has been abandoned.

 Did she start cutting again? Of course she did, she was in pain, oh so much pain, she had a taste of happiness then had it ripped away from her very hands. But the cutting didnt last long, she found something new, something that made her stop, something that made her forget, and something that made her feel numb, it was a drug, she didnt smoke much but when she did she smoked more than she could handle, smoked until she threw up, weed became her ultimate solution, and her best friend, the high she got from it made her broken black and white world become a world of colors.  But as always, it never lasts does it? She would lose the "happy" feeling, day after day, she was still crying in her room, it has yet to stop. 

She was now a trashy looking girl, smeared make up, skimpy outfits, not giving a damn anymore, at this point she was willing to sell herself to anyone who would even pretend to love her. 

Of course she had some self control left, but barely, and never did it but, her control was starting to slip away as she was trying to grasp it and keep ahold of what was left of her mind. 

Day by day, the amout of sanity she has is getting smaller and smaller until finally it turns to dust and disappears.  

She felt like she had one of two ways out, can you guess what they are? Of course not, youre not her, youre not this specific nice, loving, caring, and ill girl. Cant you see? Shes sick and hopeless.   She felt like her choices were to either give in and go mad causing her to kill innocent beings who even dared to look happy around her, it angered her, because she cant have that feeling, she wanted to paint a frown on their face so they would look permanently depressed, just as she was. The chances of murder was very slim, she was leaning more towards suicide, taking her own life, this beautiful, unloved, and lonely girl, always thought of how easy it would be, just to take one of her many hidden razors and slide it down her wrist with such precision it would look like a surgeon did it. 

 All she would have to do now was lay on the ground and wait, her and an empty bottle of pain killers, she would smile and feel that tear roll down her face once again, but for the last time, because she was finally setting herself free from  the pain that has been haunting her, and eating at her for the past eight years from the inside out, nibbling away at her sanity, making her suffer, until it finally swallowed her whole. 

This poor girl, only 16 years old, with a corrupted mind, a broken heart, and a shattered world like it was made of glass then thrown onto the cement, the thing is, she knew she was sick, and she knew what her cure was, but it had been taken away. 

But how do i know? Well thats a secret i need to keep. You've taken a step inside her mind, and hopefully this wretched world will stop the harm they are causing.