But, It's My Life

To Leave or Not To Leave

I find my first period, math. 

I walk inside, and I am the first one there, which means I get to choose my seat first. I go to the very back and sit in the farthest desk away possible from the teacher. I suck at math, and I need to avoid getting called on at all costs. I can't embarrass myself like I always do.

A couple minutes pass and other students start piling in. Soon, almost every single desk is filled, and then the bell rings. The math teacher walks in, and introduces himself as Mr. Iguad. His name reminds me of an iguana. Right away, he goes straight into classroom rules and what we are expected to follow and do.

I grab one of the notebooks from my backpack and act like I'm going to take notes, but I actually start to doodle instead. I can draw pretty well though actually. But for right now, I draw random little things that aren't too good but not sloppy either. This usually helps time go by fast.

As I'm drawing, I hear that scary statement that usually comes from an elementary teacher the first day of school.

"Class, since you're all new, I think it'd be a great idea to introduce each other, shall we?" said Mr. Iguad

My heart started pounding. Do I tell the class I'm Ashley or Ash? Do I have to say what I enjoy doing? I don't know why I get so scared and anxious over this. I hate this. I want to leave. I hate talking in front of people. I hate this I hate this I hate this.

Mr. Iguad starts with telling this girl named Rachel to introduce herself first, and has her go to the very front of the classroom. My heart is pounding because I know I will eventually have to do the same. 

I want to leave. I want to text my mom to pick me up, but she is at work. After class I can easily walk out and walk home. I want to leave but I am scared of getting in trouble, and bringing more attention to myself.

After Rachel comes this boy named Samuel. And then Raegan. And then Bella. And then Hailey. Summer, Jackson, Quinn, Tyler, and then Alexander. Halfway through the class, and people are starting to get bored with it, so maybe they won't pay too much attention to me. Hopefully.

A couple more students go, and then its down to me and this girl with short, crimpy hair. I am panicking, I feel sweaty and scared.

You're probably wondering why I am so scared to introduce myself in 2 simple sentences to the class. Honestly, I don't know why I'm so terrified either. 

The girl next to me is named Ella. She is pretty confident and seems like a sweet person though. After her, Mr. Iguad stares at me and asks me if I'm ready. I nod my head yes and make my way to the front of the classroom.

As I look around, most people aren't even looking at me. They are either looking at their phones, tapping their pencils, or drawing.

I talk very quiet, more quietly than I hear myself in my head. 

"Hi. My name is.. Ashley. I like to-"

"Hi Ashley, do you mind speaking a little louder? You're awfully quiet don't ya think? Haha."

I try to speak louder but it doesn't seem to work to well because nobody seems to make any gestures or look.

Except for the girl Ella, and Alexander.

I start again.

"Hi. My name is Ashley. I like to read and draw." I am sweating and my nails are going into the palms of my hands. Why am I so scared.

"Thank you Ashley, you may take a seat"

Thank god thats over for now. I sit back down and I stare at my shoes for a good 5 minutes, and then the girl Ella next to me taps my arm.

"I love your style!" she says to me. At first I thought she was being sarcastic, but then I realize she's just trying to be nice.

"Thanks" I say. "Yours too." Even though I don't. But she probably didn't really like mine either.

"Of course! You seem kinda quiet. Anyway, my name is Ella if you didn't hear me up there. This is my first year here, but I'm a sophomore. I moved here from Michigan, because my dad thought that Georgia would be a much better place to live."

I didn't say much, but I was honestly glad someone was talking to me.

"Thats cool" I say. "Yeah, Georgia is pretty nice. Im a freshman, so its my first year too."

"Awesome! Hey, I know this is gonna come off pretty sudden, but do you want to sit together at lunch? That way we would both have someone since were both new, and maybe learn a little more about each other?"

"Sure" I murmur. I truly do want to sit with Ella at lunch, I just can't speak out too well. 

"Okay!" she says. "See you then!"

And then the bell rings. I guess I'm not going to leave. Time to find my second period class, gym. Oh man.

A/N :  

Hi guys :) Hope you enjoy so far. Feel free to leave comments, I would love to read them! Im going to try and write a chapter a day, so we'll see how that goes!