Sarah Bell

The abuse started when I was a little girl. I wasn't even over the age of five. My dad lost his job, and my mom was working two jobs and trying to take online classes. My dad soon picked up drinking first then that lead into drugs. He did cocaine the most, but he'd tried all of them in the books. When he wasn't out partying with his friends he was laying around the house, as drunk as could be. My mom, she slowly started to loose it. She was bringing in all the money, was raising the two of us, and still taking classes. One day her and my dad had a long, and loud fight. She shoved some clothes in a suitcase and was off. She didn't even look back. My dad said she'd come back, he said she needed us, but she really didn't. It was the other way around; we needed her.

Dad needed time to let it sink in, but he didn't give it any time. My dad came to me the next afternoon screaming and cursing. He told me it was all my fault mommy left, that I chased her away and I should be ashamed of my self. I went to be that night thinking that it was. Me, the girl, not yet five scared my mom away.

My dad continued to drink and smoke, and do cocaine. I'm not sure how it did it, but he managed to make enough money to afford them, and still keep some food on the table. I always thought he was stealing.

When mom left my sister used to come into my room, in the middle of the night, saying she had nightmares, I didn't blame her. Soon, she began sleeping with me in my bed all night; it wasn't worth the trouble of her coming in every night anyways.

She's three years younger then me. When mom left she was just two. Dad took us for a long drive out into the middle of nowhere. Sarah wouldn't stop crying, but he wouldn't let me hold her. Finally he pulled the car over. He gave me one chance. I got to hold her, and she stopped crying. He told me to say good-bye to her, but I couldn't let her go. He said he'd leave both of us there. I begged him to let us stay. That didn't work. In the end I told him that I would have done anything to save my sister. That seemed to change his mind. He like the thought of me doing whatever he wanted. We were allowed to get back in the car. I kept Sarah in my lap the whole way home, while dad told me what I had to do around the house. I had to keep Sarah quiet and out of his way, I had to cook all three meals. Every time he was out of beer I was to get him another one. I had to do the dishes, and the laundry, and do anything and everything else he told me.

When we got home, I out Sarah in her crib, and went over to where my father was sitting. He already had a beer bottle in his hand. He grabbed my arm, way tighter then I was expecting. He pulled me into his lap. His breath was cold on the back of my neck. It spelled of beer. He whispered in my ear, "such a beautiful young girl, so well behaved." he gave a smile showing his half rotten teeth. I bit my tongue, to keep from shouting out, or crawling away. I gave him a weak smile. "How about you go get your hair brush? Ill brush your hair out for you."

"Ok" I said, as I went into the bathroom. I came back a few seconds later my pink hairbrush in my hand. I sat in his lap again, and he brushed my hair out. I hated him touching me, and I hated sitting in his lap. I hated his breath, and his smell. I hated my father, truly hated him. The whole time we sat there I kept telling my self "Do it for Sarah Bell, this is for my sister."