Distant Galaxy

New Year Special 2018! Marlyn's Life As A God

   Author's note:

I love Marlyn so much... And yay! Happy new fucking years my stars! This is a special chapter made by you're favou *cough* I don't think I am you're fav author... so enjoy reading this! I might make a Marlyn series after this series ends. Probably, since I love Marlyn so damn much.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

   Conclusion to my work. Fucking stupid, useless shit, goddamn unbearable and a dick sucking bitch. I looked at my clock and tsked at the time. Infinite time means so many different realities. So my clock is basically a hologram for time. I'm a god of time, though I just stole this from who knows who god.

     Huh, the god probably got crushed by Star a while back. I shrugged it off me and flipped the sign on my desk. I'm curently in my office right now, although all around me is filled with different types of galaxies. Many other gods and goddesses made dissapointed sounds as I halfway flipped the sign.

   "Shut up you immortal bitches. I'm done with this pathetic excuse of a work. Later dick suckers." I dismissively say and turned my back while giving them all the 'fuck you' gesture. They huffed and passed complaints as I snapped....sixty times this day. I turned back to them and twirled my fingers. All the immortals who had passed complaints were choked to death with my red swirls.

    "Anyone with the usual bitching can go to my personnel hell. Now scram you lunatics!" I shouted demandingly. Many gulped and teleported away with many types of way. "Why the hell am I still working in this dipshit job anyway? It's not like all us assholes get a payday..." I mumbled tiredly and went to the elevator.

    The bosses thinks having a mortal elevator would help us relax. I closed my eyes for a few minutes, since this place is humangous it'll take hours to reach ground floor. The elevator abruptly stops to let two gods enter. They gigled like anals. "Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing."

     My eye twitched in annoyance as the other god laughed out. "Okay, okay...my turn, I suffer from kleptomania, but when it gets really bad, I take something for it." That fucking anus made another pun. My anger rised considerably. "Haha! It's funny cuz' I don't get it!" The god beside Anus...my nickname for that little bitch...says. "Well whatever, my turn! Why is peter pan always flying? He neverlands. Hahaha-fuck i'm dying!"

    Anus and...i'll call the other ass for now, wheezed. Then I finally snapped. "You call that funny? Hear mine. Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers? He’d stop at nothing to avoid them. And another, What did the librarian say when the books were in a mess? We ought to be ashamed of ourshelves! The last ballsack of a joke,  Who was Socrates’ worst student? Mediocrities. Who was his busiest student? The one with a lot on his Plato. Now die in laughter you annoying balls."

    I sneered and blew up the elevator's door. "Bastard never gives me a break ." Anus and Ass laughed like they were dying as tears streams from both of them. Ass reached his hands out. "Wait! Hear our last one! Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest." Then he choked his laugh while the other rolled around while laughing maniacly.

   I chuckled a bit. That last one was definetly funny. Bitch, these guys are dead. Then a ringing from my hologram watch. It's Star. Ugh, he must've seen the puns we were making and decided to butt in. Biatch.
"Marlyn here. What is up bloody demon?" The other only laughed loudly and gasped out a joke "Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banan-"

    "What desperate call. What do you need? A blow job from me?" I nonchalantly say as I already knew the joke he was about to say. " Hell fucking no! You're blow jobs are bollocks!" He shouted out and hanged up on me. "I can't seem to find my fucks at his statement." I whispered under my breath and floated around the hallway while listening all the other working gods' screams and screech of stress.

    "I'd rather give my ugly ass husband a boner then date you're son, Jerefuckingassholemy!" The screech of a godess. "We need to make boobs to stop existing. At this rate, every creatures in the universe will be smashing themselves on hell's burning floor!" A yell from the demon's manager. "YOU ARE SUCH A BUGGER! HOW ABOUT YOU GO MEET STAR AND PUKE UP THOSE WORDS AT HIM INSTEAD YOU USELESS TRASHY BUM! YOU'RE BUTT'S A DISSAPOINTMENT SO I BOUGHT YOU A BUTTPLUG SO NO GAY FUCKER COULD FUCK YOU'RE AN-"

   Ugh, eww. What in the multiverse was that all about? I plugged my ears with my red magic and open a door to my second office. "If anyone asks why i'm still alive...call them a bunch of clitoris." I mutered solemnly and floated down on a comfy leather chair. Then, all the phones in this hellhole of an office rang annoyingly loud. I picked all of the phones at once uusing the same red magic.

     "Go see a cock you bastards." I shouted and yet the caller still had the guts to talk. Gosh, these guys are so rude they're infinite losers for short. It lasted for at least a whole week. Yes, a whole entire week. Us immortals don't get tired as easy. So we use it for the higher-ups. Damn higher-ups.

     It's finally the time to relax...."Happy New Years Mr. Marlyn! And congratulations on winning the grand prize! Extra works!" A gnome shouted as it slams itself onto my face. That's the final straw. I hate this life so very much. I shooted towards the boss' office and screamed unknowlegable words in an attempt to be polite.

    And snaps. "You wanna' know how many swears I know!? I know crap cunt damn dick dildo dyke fag feck fellate fellatio felching fuck f u c k fudgepacker fudge packer flange Goddamn God damn hell homo jerk jizz knobend knob end labia lmao lmfao muff nigger nigga omg penis piss poop prick pube pussy and YOU! You are a new swear word in my list you goddamn QUEER of a gigantic piece of scrotum of a sex slave of a shitty boss! And last but not least, you're illegally a SLUT. I fucking quit."

    I then swirled my self in red magic and dissapeared to where Star's supposed to be. This smegma of a multiverse better know who I want to see right now. "Star!?" I yelled. "Wussup, galatical pussy?" The response echoes in the empty abyss. "I want to hear you're horrible spunk of a jokes." Happiness overwhelms me. Star was the best of friend I had, and i'm not about to lose him...

So I thought. But his half dead now, from what I heard from a co-worker. Star had been captured and i'm responsible to punish him. Fuck, they knew we were best friends, so they made this sick joke.... I, honestly don't want to make Star illegal or dead maybe...I know what I want to do with him.