After Dunkirk

Chapter 16

Alex POV
"Alex! Honey snap out of it!" I hear my mom say as she jolts me back and forth.

I feel sweat covering me as I try and catch my breath.

Fuck it's happening again.

"Are you alright, what's going on?" She ask as she stares at me with worried eyes.

I was hoping that she wouldn't have to find out about this.

"I'm fine, really. Probably just a nightmare." I say as I sit up and readjust myself.

"Alex don't lie to me. I'm your mother, you can tell me." She says.

I can tell she probably won't be letting go of this one by the look on her face.

"Okay." I sigh.

Her questioning look continues to ponder over me as I try and gather my words together.

"Well when I got back home I had sort of a rough time adjusting back and I started having these outbreaks or whatever you want to call them and-"

I stop for a second to think of how I can break this down in the best possible way.

"And what?" She says.

"And they got bad, way worse than this." I say.

"How so?"

"Sometimes I would end up breaking stuff and sometimes even hitting on Georgia."

A shocked expression covers her face as she puts her hand over her mouth.

"What?" She says.

"Yeah. It kept happening over and over again and I could just see it all in her face that it was just adding way too much stress on her and I felt horrible about it and at the time I just thought it was best for me to leave, even though looking back now I see that probably wasn't my smartest decision."

"Alex, sweetheart why didn't you just tell me this from the beginning?" She says as she crouches down next to me.

"Because it's embarrassing. I don't want to be known as a piece of shit who beats on his girlfriend."

"But it's not like that. I'm not trying to say what happened was okay, but you have to understand that some things you just couldn't help, but this is why we're working to get you the help you need." She says.

"It's not that simple though mom." I say.

"I know it's not but the important part is your trying. Did Georgia ever try and talk to you about this or try and bring any of this up?" She ask.

"She would tell me that it was okay and that it was fine and everything but it wasn't and I knew that. She even tried signing me up with some therapist, he didn't do shit to help me but she tried and she always gave me all that she could and I appreciated that a lot but I just didn't feel that I could give her the same in return." I say.

"This isn't an easy situation and you have to know that." She sighs.

"I know that your stronger than this though and that you guys can get through this. Have you been in touch with her lately?"

"Yeah, I get to see her and we talk. We're both just trying to take it slow and take steps to get back to the way we used to be, but at this point, I'm just grateful that she's even speaking to me." I say.

"Well things probably aren't going to be exactly the same as when you left off. You both have been through a lot and a lot has probably changed but hopefully throughout all of this you guys can just be brought closer together." She says.