The Book I'll Never Write

Chapter: I want to be Seen

I just finished reading a book, which by the way was amazing, called "Tell Me Three Things" by Julie Buxbaum. I won't spoil it or anything, just recommend you read it, but that isn't the point here.

There was a part where the main character, Jessie, said she just wanted to be Seen. And I totally understand how that feels. I don't just want people to look at me, I want them to see me. I've always felt a little bit like an outsider, never really fitting in, and so having people really know me and see me is something I've always wanted. And I have an amazing best friend who definitely does, and she knows me so well that sometimes it's scary. We grew apart for a while, and I'm kind of scared we'll grow apart again, but if we do I know we'll still always be able to talk to each other about anything.

But the most amazing part? Finally, I have a boyfriend who sees me too. I know it sounds dumb but, he really does mean a lot to me. Exes I've had would always say "Oh I liked you better with-" fill in the blank, and I'd always be kind of sad. Because I don't have a set style or fashion sense, I don't have an "everyday makeup look" It changes constantly so it felt like they wanted me to change. But now? I don't think I have ever heard him say anything like that. When I do something weird with my makeup he just says "You look nice" or makes a comment on the colours. If I do subtle, cute, sexy, anything else ever he always just compliments me without saying what he likes better. He sees me for all that I am and it's honestly really magical.

So, to anyone reading this, if you feel lost don't worry. Because you will be seen one day. You don't need to change the whole world, because sometimes changing someone's world is all that really matters.