The Book I'll Never Write

Chapter: This is late rip but To 2017

It's the end of 2016, and let me just say this year has been an interesting one. On a global scale, it's been honestly terrible. Brexit, Trump, murders, shootings; so much bad has happened this year. But on a personal level, at least some good has happened. Firstly, I met my wonderful boyfriend, and we've been dating almost 10 months now. And for at least 4 of those months, we haven't been able to really talk outside of school at all. But, we're gonna make it through all of this. Next, I grew a lot as a person. I kind of realized that for me to really get better, I have to move on from all the horrible things my mom has done. I can't forgive her or my step dad, mainly because they've never apologized, and I can never forget because they've caused me so many problems, but I can move on and become a better person. I'm learning slowly that having weaknesses isn't a bad thing, so I'll be focusing on getting help for things that I need. I also realized that I want to be a light in the world. I want to smile and be happy, and I want to be remembered for having a soul so entirely good and pure.

Yeah, sure, there have been bad moments too. I've cried a lot this year. I've made mistakes, and I've regretted decisions. But in the end, I came out as a better person because of it. My goal for 2017 is to become even better than I was, I want to talk about how I feel instead of bottling it up. I want to get treated for my mental illnesses, and I want to remember that I have a future ahead of me that is so bright it's blinding. I need to remember that plans can change, and to not take everything so seriously, but I also need to think more about what I really want from life. It's going to be hard, and I might not get as far as I want to, but I know that I'll have people on my side no matter what happens.

So one last time, to 2016, thanks for being a bitch and pushing me to the very edge. I really think I needed that. Thank you to everyone who's been with me through all of this. And to everyone who worries and thinks about me; I'm sorry to make you worry, but I promise I'll try to get better for you. Your love and support really does make a huge difference and I am extremely thankful for it.

To 2017, please be kind. I think the world needs a little happiness right now.